(Watching corners and crossings
Watching all the red lights
Watching the stress
Watching beggars and bankers and rushing cars
I’m drowning in this mess)

Help me! Rescue me! Save me! Set me free!

It is strange – among all people I feel alone.
Very strange – despite the sun I’m cold to the bone!

Up on the rooftops I feel alive
Lovely detached from the human hive.
Up on the rooftops I feel so free.
Far from the city that’s suffocating me.

Is this what we want?

I believe: beneath the surface we turn to stone.
Can’t you see?
We meet our neighbours over the phone
I’m awake – watch me! I’ll escape – watch me!
If this is progress help me to regress!

Alone by the ocean I feel alive
Lovely detached from the human hive.
Alone by the ocean I feel so free.
Far from the city that’s suffocating me.

You live too shallow, act too deep!
Fail to sow but proudly reap!

Alright

…and you still need more!
Indians show us where we’re from
Stress indicates what we’ve all become!

(Watching corners and crossings
Watching all the red lights
Watching the stress
Watching beggars and bankers and rushing cars
I’m drowning in this mess)

In time you’ll awake!
In time you’ll escape!
In time you’ll awake!
You’ll see what’s at stake!

Is this what we want?
Is this what we need?
Well
Is it?
Is it?
Is it?
Guess it is
No?
Is it?

(Watching corners and crossings
Watching all the red lights
Watching the stress)

She keeps the world at bay
With walls built to stand come-what-may
And with that coldness on display, they held until today
She would hold her own
Running all alone
Ridding her road of every grain to stay in control

Suddenly she is down on all four
And the walls will support her no more
Cries her eyes out like never before
Onto this linoleum
The bottled up and stored

She’s won every war
And when she’s out that door
She will push ahead of you, frowning at the poor
She would move so fast not to end up last
Aiming for the finish line to smile at those she’d passed

Suddenly she is down on all four
And the walls will support her no more
Cries her eyes out like never before
Onto this linoleum
The bottled up and stored
And stored
The bottled up and stored

Sometimes, ooh, just sometimes
That’s really all it takes:
A hand on her shoulder
Then she breaks

Sometimes that’s really all it takes:
(Yes then)
A word of kindness and she breaks
(She breaks)
And then the sum of damage done
(Well she breaks)
Spills out on stale linoleum
(She breaks)

Sometimes that’s really all it takes:
(She breaks)
A gentle touch and then she breaks
(She breaks)
To see the sum of damage done
(She breaks)
Stain this linoleum
(Oh, she breaks)

Sometimes that’s really all it takes:
(Oh, she breaks)
A word or touch and then we break
(Oh, she breaks)
And all this world’s linoleum
(She breaks)
Can’t hold the sum of damage done

She’s becoming her last casualty
If she breaks then at last she’ll be free
But she keeps it together once more
To run another day to fight another war

Itsy bitsy spider
Climbed the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Now she stays on the ground
So she’ll never fall
See she would rather drown than lose control

I’m far from sober.
And she’s far from sane.
As she takes my hand and she pulls me away.

She leads me down to the shoreline.
She leads me down to the sea.
She pulls me into the water.
And then she whispers to me,

“Love, you know that I can make you stronger.
Love, you know that I can make you brave.
But there’s one thing that you must remember:
That I am too far gone for you to save.”

Sand through her fingers.
The night slips away.
She gave me her body
But never her name.

I followed her to the shoreline.
I’d follow her to the grave.
Two sinking ships in the darkness.
And we are much too close to break away.

And I know that she will make me stronger.
And I know that she will make me see.
And I know that she will make me younger.
But I don’t know what more she’ll do to me.

She said,

“You know that I can make you stronger.
Love, you know that I can make you brave.
But there’s one thing that you must remember:
That I am too far gone for you to save.”

[originally by Dio]

Holy Diver
You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh, what’s becoming of me
Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean
Oh, don’t you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver

That’s right
You’re Holy, Holy Diver

C’mon

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you
Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun ’til you see the light
Oh, we will pray it’s all right

Gotta get away, get away
Gotta get away, get away

Between the velvet lies
There’s a truth that’s hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life’s a never ending wheel

Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Holy Diver
That’s right
Holy Diver
Holy Diver

It was ’79
and the world seemed more kind.
And it was still okay to be modest.
The sixties were gone
but their soul lingered on.
And the eighties were still just a promise.

And I remember me and you.

Two children of six
still playing with sticks.
And whatever we found in the forest.
Our grandpas were strong
and our parents still young.
And the world seemed a little more honest.

And I remember me and you.

All still fine.
1979.
Left behind.
1979.

Do you remember?
Do you remember?
‘Cause I remember me and you.

She likes to hide
She likes to hide
She likes to hide and I don’t know why
I’d ask but she’s too hard to find
She likes to hide.

This Tuesday I almost tried to ask her why
But she got that look in her eyes
She likes to hide
She likes to hide

Last night I asked her why and first she smiled
But then she just broke down and cried
She likes to hide
She likes to hide

She told me that she’ll be fine and she’s all mine
But I’m pretty sure that she lied
See, she likes to hide

She plays this game where I’m supposed to find out
The reason why she likes to hide
She plays that game each night and I fail to find out
‘Cause I am where I like to hide
I am where I like to hide
I am where I like to hide
I am where I like to hide

“Please let me be yours, please never leave
Please stay here close to me
All love we shared—where is it now?
Please let me be better than I was
Please don’t give up on us
The thought of leaving you—I don’t know how.”

“I can feel the pain you have inside
I see it in your eyes
Those eyes that used to shine for me
I can feel the wildness in your heart
That’s tearing us apart
My love, how can I help if you don’t want me?”

“There is nothing you can do to help me now.
I am lost within myself as so many times before.
There’s nothing you can do to ease my pain.
I am so, so sorry but if you love me you must let go.”

Two young souls in the dance of a chain sling
Love once born from the ink of Solitude
Bidding to dance in the swing of a rope end
Walking their Remedy Lane trough this interlude of pain

Who will be there now?
When I lose my one true love?
I am falling now
Darkness below and above

“There is nothing you can do to help me now.
I am lost within myself as so many times before.
There’s nothing you can do to ease my pain.
I am so, so sorry but if you love me you must let go.”

Two young souls in the dance of a chain sling
Love once born from the ink of Solitude
Bidding to dance in the swing of a rope end
Walking their Remedy Lane through this interlude of pain

Who will be there now
When I lose my one true love?
Have I lost myself?
To love someone else…

“Please let me be yours please never leave
Please stay here close to me
All love we shared where is it now?
Please let me be better than I was
Please don’t give up on us
The thought of leaving you…”

I do not know how

[originally by Lou Reed]

Just a perfect day
Drink sangria in the park
And then later, when it gets dark
We go home

Just a perfect day
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later a movie, too
And then home

Oh, it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It’s such fun

Just a perfect day
You made me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
Someone good

Oh, it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow

And it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

You’re going to reap just what you sow

[1: Introducing Star]

(We saw you every day)
With your hands on your crotch and so much to say
You went from bouncing toy cars with golden motors
To neon striped BMWs and a court of drugged up nodders and quoters
Namefucking fame on all photos,
All cheered on and applauded by even richer promoters
Now when you’re a star, when you’ve reached this far
And the world really knows who you are
You show off your six black Mercedeses and drink Cristal like they all do
And the poor outside your gates appall you,
And the only hood you see is the one on your car
Do you even have a clue as to who you are?
Bro, I don’t think so
I mean Mercedes, well, you know…

I’m sick of hearing you preach to the poor like before,
Only now you’re a coward, only letting TV through your door
Getting older, take a bow and just go
The rage on the stage getting colder like your hits on the chart,
But then the talk shows can still get you hard
Doin’ rhymes on your prime time fistfights
And spittin’ grime in the limelight like a star gets a chip off your shoulder,
A boulder that rolls and rolls over and over and over

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall

[2: Thus Quote The Craving]

You’re so fucking lost that with all of the costs
You still don’t see that in reality
The one thing you fail to buy yourself is a personality
You’re trapped in a mould of the rap, you sell but you’re sold
I mean, can’t believe that you’re paying all that gold to some home decorator that hands you buckets of conformity
Seems you’re losing your way together with your policy man,
Ending up with a new definition of poverty – it’s a joke
Like those you make in every video to reach the kids with the dough,
With every copied “aha yo” and worn out “bro”
Guess what we need is yet another clown who can feed our breed with another look and hooker hook
Now when “bitch” is mundane you take the lead with “wassup ho” and let TV blur your mouth once more
Just what we need in every store, thus quote the craving: “forever more!”
You’re so right – a shiny knight on a white steed, truly a hero
Yeah right
Fuck you – fuck you right down to the core!
You know what? You’re just another “Parental Advisory” bore!

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall…
The longer the spitfall…

[4: Man Of The Masses]

You’re a man of the masses, took all the classes
Their asses are yours
All those bores who are paying the bills for your palace uphills
And your pills that will help you proceed in your greed
You are free of the chains that you need on your fans to adore, to kneel down before you,
More precious to you than your brains and your hands
They live for you!
If you could just see this old tree, this patriarchic hierarchy, up where you want to be, you need miles of roots to lick your boots
Don’t you see?
You’re a man of the masses, you need all those asses, their fate to relate to the one that you were
Do you know who you are? Who are you? Not the one in your words that they buy
They concur, you conquer, though a natural flunker,
You need them to stay not fly, to obey like the dogs that they are, the cogs under the hood of your Mercedes car
They will pay for your trip to the stiff upper lip
You’re a man of the masses, your trip is a journey through classes
You are high, they are low, and you need it to be so
See, without them you’d be nothing more than before, and you know that’s not much
It’s just or unjust such: just a sad little man with his hand on his crotch

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall…
The longer the spitfall…
The longer the spitfall…
The longer the spitfall…

When you’re rappin’ your shit y’all

(We’ll cut you down to size)
There is a woman burning at the center square
Raven black eyes and long let out hair
Screaming, while cloaked vultures holier-than-thou circle and glare
At sweat drops on pale skin like satin
And as the raging flames work her into cinder
Said in their defence:
Stupidity and ignorance,
Prejudice and intolerance
All sound so much wiser when dressed up in Latin

Life will never be the same
I have a bigger world since I found God (I found God)
Truth will never be the same
I’m in a righter mind since I found God (I found God)

I found Mrs Modern Mother Mary, all pale and weary
From raising her overweight kids in the outskirts of Suburbia
On a nice Christian gender based salary
And a church she can merely attend
And there on the flip-side of Caucasia we see
Miss Modern Mary Magdalene gone Deep Throat on international cable TV

So you keep talking about progress and equality
But to me the crusade is still on, my friend

Silly me who always thought
Life was for the living
And giving in to lust
Was all to give and to be given

Life will never be the same
I have a better view since I found God (I found God)
Guilt will never be the same
I’m on a higher ground since I found God (I found God)
I found God…
I found God…

Life will never be the same
I have a better view now
There’s always someone else to blame
I’m on the winning team now

Death will never be the same
I’m in the faster lane now
No more am I the one to blame
I have a juster cause now

Love will never be the same
Lust will never be the same
Shame will never be the same
I will never be the same
And you will never be the same

I long for the summer
I long for the sun gently touching my face
I’ll open my eyes, let it burn every splinter
Unleash desert storms on its way to my heart

I had this coming
Every day of my life
This is where I stop fighting,
Eyes open wide

I once had blue eyes
Hungry and wise
Now they are black from this dark age of lies
We’re all privatized
Industrialized
We capitalize on the beams in our eyes

It’s all in the eyes

Eyes tearing with sorrow
Burning with anger and passion and lust
The swift wind of thought
Of wildness and laughter
The soil of defiance
The firm ground of trust

(we had this coming every day of our lives)
(we should start fighting for eyes open wide)

But I am put here, in this world gone insane
Where everything’s for sale
From nature, over stars down to DNA
Then I can gladly say
That I’d be the first to break that norm
Any day, any way
And the last to join the ranks
To hunt down the Daily Threat
Or any other brand of prey

We once had blue eyes probing the skies
Now they are blackened from this modern life
All privatized,
Industrialized
A failure offensive and sore to the eye

From this dark age of treason
We all know how to cry
Then we learn how to smile, how to smile
We all tell you the truth
Tell us the truth!
Then we learn how to lie
And oh, how we lie
Now we lie

When you bow your heads tomorrow
At the world we build today
I want you to remember
That I stood my ground and said no
Say no!
I said no…
Say no!
I said no…
Say no!
I said no…
Say no!
Say no!
Say no!

Mother
At my first breath
Every paragraph was set
As I inhaled the scent of debt

Mother
That first stolen air
Taken as a legal sign
On papers saying I’m not mine

“We crown you, the King of Loss
Better get on your feet
Best be one of us
Better get yourself on the list for success
Dress up as a State investment
Charm the press
A breed from the seed
Of only one short breath”

Mother
Hence we cry:
Some of us are free to stand
Most of us are bound to lie

In those bloodstained beds
No one can afford to pay
The prices on their babies’ heads

I am the King of Loss!
For every dear smile
I feel I’m not one of us
I have been waiting here
In the line for success
Dressed up as a state investment
I charm the press
Then tell me that life means more
Than this vain thirst

“One more governmental blade
Now drawn from its private sheath
Quite a bargain I’d say since either way
You will live by the show of our teeth!”

I hold up my head
This was my life
Now I’m with the dead
So I lay my bare neck
This is your call
Dub a king or cut a wreck

Mother
Mother
Is this all I am?
Is this all I’ll be?
This is not enough

Mother
I wish that we could talk

I am an old bird
Careworn from flying
Caught in the down wind far from home

I used to fly
I was fire
Mine was the sky and the sun
Maybe I’m too far gone and my wings too beaten and torn
(now I’m lost and I’m tired)
‘Cause I spin and I stall
But I hope if I fall
I am falling home

To you

I should be home now
Done with this wild sky
My only hope now is falling home
I’m falling home
I’m falling home
I’m falling home

I used to fly
I was fire
Mine was the sky and the sun
But I’m too far gone and my wings too beaten and torn
(now I’m lost and I’m tired)
‘Cause I spin and I stall
And I hope if I fall
I am falling home
Falling home

To you

She pours herself another glass of wine.
Tells herself yet another time she’s fine.
But earlier today she lost an hour.
A gaping hole just like.
Inside her.
Inside her.

Whenever a plane is passing by.
Or migrating birds fill up the sky.
Something is stirring deep inside.
She doesn’t know why but.
Softly she cries.
Softly she cries.

She wears that smile another day in life.
For all we know another perfect wife.
But sometimes she’s just gazing into nowhere.
An empty face just like.
She’s not there.
She’s not there.

Whenever a plane is passing by.
Or migrating birds fill up the sky.
Something is aching deep inside.
She doesn’t know why but.
Softly she cries.
Softly she cries.

Somewhere inside her there’s a child.
Longing to break away and fly.
But she is just letting life pass by.

Whenever a plane is passing by.
Or migrating birds fill up the sky.
Something is breaking deep inside.
She doesn’t know why but.
She starts to cry.
She starts to cry.
Softly she cries.
She starts to cry.

Never thought that you were conditioned.
Never thought that you could be sold.
Or controlled.

Well, I’m the TV being on in the background.
The girl who used to like you in school.

I’m the one who’s making you feel like.
You are nobody’s fool.
But you live by my rules.

So if heaven is a place for thee.
Then it’s all me!

I’m the kid who’s laughing at your complexion.
I’m every Bob and Steve and Diane.
I’m promotion plan.
(You are?)
Oh, yeah!

I’m the dirty cash in every election.
The winners writing your history.
Nudging you just ever so slightly.

I am spoof, spam and spin.
And you’re letting me right in.

So if heaven is awaiting thee.
Then sweet Jesus the Lord
Will be holding thee.
Then I’m him!

And if you reject me.
And fight to remain free.
And try to keep your own.
You’ll find a life of misery.
Oh, but if you embrace me.
And oppose the fighting few.
And make my needs your own.
You will be just fine.
‘Cause I will be holding you.
I will be holding you…
I will be holding you

Heal me now.
Remove these old scars from my soul.
Heal me now.
Unhinge this dry skin from my bones.

And even though I can’t forget the many times I’ve cried.
And even though I can’t forgive the many ways I’ve died.
I am healing now.
And I still kick the dust from this road.
And I’m still alive.
Just a little less so.
Than before.

Heal me now.
And wash these old tracks from my road.
Heal me now.
This prodigy walked himself old.

And I’m healing now.
And I’m trying to find my way home.
And I’m still alive.
And I just thought that you should know.
That perhaps I’ll cry.
And perhaps I will die.
But for now I’m still alive.
Just a little less so than before.
Just a little less so than before.
Just a little less so than before.
Just a little less so.
Than before.

I’m far from sober.
And she’s far from sane.
When she takes my hand and she pulls me away.

She leads me down to the shoreline.
She leads me down to the shoreline.
She leads me down to the sea.
She pulls me into the water.
And then she whispers to me:

“Love, you know that I can make you stronger.
Love, you know that I can make you brave.
But there’s one thing that you must remember:
That I am too far gone for you to save.”

Sand through her fingers.
The night slips away.
She gave me her body.
But never her name.

I followed her to the shoreline.
I’d follow her to the grave.
Two sinking ships in the darkness.
And we are much too close to break away.

And I know that she will make me stronger.
And I know that she will make me see.
And I know that she will make me younger.
But I don’t know what more she’ll do to me.

And she said:

“You know that I can make you stronger.
Love, you know that I can make you brave.
But there’s one thing that you must remember:
That I am too far gone for you to save.”

Wait
If you could ask me to wait
If you could ask me to take a break
Before I fall to pieces and break
If I could ask you to wait
(Wait darling wait on the road to who you really are)
Break
Break
(I’m driven too far)
Break
(If you want to know me just break darling break)
If you dissect me
(If I could ask you to break)
And search through the debris
(But I can’t ask you to break)
You’ll find my northern star leads to where you are

This wreck you see is still me
I’m just driven too far
Driven too fast
Driven too long
Driven too hard

Driven too fast
Driven too long
Driven too hard
Driven too far

I run my calm on fumes.
I run my calm on fumes.

I’ve let you have your way around.
But I’m warning you.
I’m warning you.

You pushed me just that one more time.
And I’m done with you.
Oh I’m done with you.

Down to the bone.
I go with the wild.
You’re down to the bone.
I go with the wild.

Eleven.
Eleven.

I run my calm on fumes.
I run my calm on fumes.

I’ve made my peace with cut and bruise.
A long time ago.
Used to be so small.

But now I’ve listened to your last excuse.
See I’m stronger now.
So much stronger now.

All muscle and bone.
I go with the wild.
All muscle and bone.
I go with the wild.

Eleven.
Eleven.
Eleven.

I go with the wild.
You’re down to the bone.

Eleven.
I go with the wild.
You’re down to the bone.

Eleven.
Eleven.

Down to the bone.
Eleven.
Muscle and bone.
Eleven.
I go with the wild…
You’re down to my bone.
Eleven.
I go with the wild.

It was ’79 and the world seemed more kind.
And it was still okay to be modest.
The sixties were gone but their soul lingered on.
And the eighties were still just a promise.
And I remember me and you.
Two children of six still playing with sticks.
And whatever we found in the forest.
Our grandpas were strong and our parents still young.
And the world seemed a little more honest.
And I remember me and you.
All still fine.
1979.
Left behind.
1979.
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
‘Cause I remember.
Me and you.

I’ve walked this road and fed its hunger
I wore it down, it wore me down

Seen every bend, seen every crossroad
Now I sit down here on the ground

Salt in my face, salt under my boots
Salt is this road, salting my wounds
A boy once king sits here a failure
Salt is this man now sitting down

All my life I have been afraid.
All my life scared to lose my way.
All my life led me to today.
The day when I must learn the hardest way.
Every step leading to this day.
The day I learn to lose and fail.

A deeper cut into the flesh of life.
A sharper kind of knife.

A deeper cut into the throat of grey.
Come take me far away.
Come take me far away.
Lead me astray.

The deepest cut will never really mend.
The deepest cut might kill you in the end.
The deepest cut is playing not to win.
It’s what you hear in every word I sing.
It’s beauty in the ugliest of things.
It’s birds that fly with broken wings.

A deeper cut into the flesh of life.
A sharper kind of knife.

A deeper cut into the throat of grey.
Come colors lead the way.
Come colors lead the way.
Into the wild
(Into the wild…)
Into the wild
(Into the wild)
Into the wild
(Into the wild)
Into the wild
(Into the wild)

Today I go beyond control
(Into the wild)
Beyond all purpose, aim or goal
(Into the wild)
To win my soul
(Into the wild)
‘Cause today I choose to lose my way
(Into the wild)
To fall and fail
(Into the wild…)
I choose the wilderness today
(Into the wild)

Into the wild…

Emelie is sad
Emelie is sad
Emelie is sad
She used to be glad
Now Emelie’s been had
Emelie’s been had
Emelie’s been had
She might never be glad

Oh, but there is something deep inside her
Oh, if we could only see inside her

Now she’s mine, all broken inside
A product of your fine
Mortar grind
Every crime is seeping inside
Until they’re all mine
Burn them away

Jenny used to smile
Jenny used to smile
Jenny used to smile
Now she’ll only hide
Jenny’s in denial
Jenny’s in denial
Jenny’s in denial
She might never smile

Oh, but there is something deep inside her
Oh, I know ’cause I have been inside her

Now she’s mine, all broken inside
A product of your fine
Mortar grind
Every crime is seeping inside
Until they’re all mine
Burn them away
Burn them away —

I used to be mine
I used to be mine
I used to be mine
Now I’m feeling blind
I’m too deep inside
I’m too deep inside
I’m too deep inside
This mortar grind —

Now it’s mine, all broken inside
A product of their fine
Mortar grind
(Burn it away)
All this vile
Sulphur and brine
I keep deep inside
(Oh) Burn it away
Burn it away
Oh, burn it away
Burn it away

When I was a child I saw her every day.
I never dared to touch her,
Scared to break that spell,
And now the years have passed us by,
And all that could’ve been is left behind
‘Cause I loved her safe from the distance

Every day a million people flow the street, their faces blank
They talk but do not ever meet.
They all have important things to do.
They all have things to watch on TV.
‘Cause they all watch life safe from a distance.
They all touch love safe from a distance.

But I want it!
And I need it!
Come and touch me!
Come and reach me!
Through a distance…
‘Cause we all live life safe from a distance,
But my heart will bleed through all this distance,
And my voice will cry all through the distance.

[I Gridlock (All Is Mine)]

Silently I sit on this road.
Sifting the dust through my hands.
To feel that I belong.

Silently I weep for my soul.
There’s always been something I need.
To feel that I am whole.

I’m taking a trip down the line.
Watching this new state of mind:
“All is mine!”
“All is mine”

Silently I weep for mankind.
At some point we cut every rope.
To touch the sun.

And suddenly.
And silently.
Like hot air balloons.
Our minds took to the skies.
Hovering above luscious fields.
With a beautiful view.
But this hunger for the ground.
Inside.

And every red-light in town.
Is screaming for lost and for found:
“All is mine!”

[II The End]

We’re all longing to belong.
We’re all longing to be home.
Invincible young and strong.
But we lost it all.
When we turned life into a road.
A direction towards a goal.
Ending where no one really wants to go.

And so my friend.
Welcome to the end.
All who won’t pretend.
All who cannot mend.
All who lost themselves.
On life’s dusty shelves:
No one ever wins.
We’re but mortal kings.
Of passing things.

But I see a better man.
His feet on his father’s land.
His hand in his mother’s hand.
He still belongs.
He’s lying there on the shore.
He never asks where to go.
‘Cause his is a grounded soul.
He’ll always know.

[III On Nous A Donné La Vie]

Je suis la mer.
C’est pourquoi je dis.
Pour tour mes frères.
Pour tous mes amis.
Je vous donne la misère:
Je vous donne la vie.
Je vous donne la misère:
Je vous donne la vie.

Vous voyez tout en moi.
Vous voyez un dieu.
Je me vois en toi.
Dans chaque lieu.
Je vous donne cette croix.
Je vous donne cette fleur.
Je vous donne cette croix.
Je vous donne cette fleur.

Nous partageons ce sentiment d’impuissance.
Toujours jeunes filles et garçons sans défense.
Silencieusement nous allons.
Silencieusement nous passons.
On nous a donné la misère:
On nous a donné la vie.
On nous a donné la misère:
On nous a donné la vie.
On nous a donné la vie.
On nous a donné la vie.

There is no way that you can love her like I do.
Oh no, there is no way – I see through you.
‘Cause when I hold her in the night,
All that is wrong will become right.
And I know that she feels it, too,
‘Cause no-one loves her like I do.

There is no way that you could know her like I do.
Oh no, there is now way you’ll ever do.
She is a flower of the wild,
Oh, and I have seen her from her darkest side.
She is a twisted little ride,
And you will never know her like I do.

But still I’m crying, feels like bleeding from two self-inflicted wounds.
Young and helpless, treading water in a cesspool of maroon.
Feels like dying, feels like dying… But I’ll live!
But I’ll live!
But I’ll live!
But I’ll live!

There is now way that you could touch her like I do.
Oh no, she thinks of me when she’s with you.
She wants it gently like a child,
But play her right and she goes wild.
But one step wrong and she will hide.
And you will never touch her like I do.

There is now way that you can fuck her like I can.
Oh no, you’re simply not that kind of man.
‘Cause sometime when she’s screaming no,
She really wants for you to go, go, go.
But you can never ask her why,
No, then she will close up and deny.

But still I’m bleeding this old road salt from my self-inflicted eyes.
Slowly scarring and corroding, to thaw this young heart of ice.
And I’m kneeling, yes I’m kneeling… But I’ll live!
But I’ll live!
But I’ll live!
But I’ll live!

I can see how you would need her to spice up your grind.
I can see why she moves you – knocks you out of orbit and mind.
And I can see how you need her to save you from yourself.
Unmeshing you from your grid, to dust you off on your shelf.

But I can’t see why she needs you.
No.
I can’t see that at all.
You’d have something that I don’t?
Would that be possible?
Would that be possible?
Would that be possible?
Would that be possible?

She likes to hide.
She likes to hide.
She likes to hide, and I don’t know why.
I’d ask but she’s too hard to find.
She likes to hide.

This Tuesday I almost tried to ask her why
But she got that look in her eyes.
She likes to hide.
She likes to hide.

Last night I asked her why, and first she smiled,
But then she just broke down and cried.
She likes to hide.
She likes to hide.

She told me that she’ll be fine, and she’s all mine,
But I’m pretty sure that she lied.
See, she likes to hide.

She plays this game where I’m supposed to find out the reason why she likes to hide.
She plays that game each night.
I fail to find out, ’cause I am where I like to hide,
I am where I like to hide,
I am where I like to hide,
I am where I like to hide.

When all are dizzy and happy from too much wine
I leave the party behind
To be alone with my thoughts and this spinning mind
Through this cold night
But there she stands

And she walks like you
And she smiles almost like you
A child of the wild just like you
Yes.

For a second I think I get a glimpse
Of the real her, behind
She’s warm and fragile
With smiles that reach to her eyes
But just this moment,
A change so sublime

If she looked me deep into my eyes
And softly asked me too
I’d be in her bed and in her flesh
And waste a life I knew

So I hold my breath and close my eyes
And focus on the wine
Let this trembling moment pass us by
So I could say goodnight

But then, an impulse
I almost touched her face
Before I pulled back my hand
And we get nervous
We laugh and she spills her wine
Both so awkward, for what’s on our mind

And she talks like you
And she smells almost like you
A child of the wild just like you
But she’s not all you
Even strives not to be you
Just like every sister would do

And perhaps it’s the want
Of you in her eyes
But I want her this one single time
…Just this one time

If she looked me deep into my eyes
And softly asked me too
I’d be in her bed and in her flesh
And waste a life I knew

So I hold my breath and close my eyes
And focus on the wine
Let this trembling moment pass us by
So I could say goodnight

If I’d looked into her eyes
And softly asked her too
She would give herself and give her flesh
And waste a life she knew

So we hold our breath, and close our eyes
And take a sip of wine
But this thirst has emptied every glass
And we should say goodnight

…God, help me say goodnight.

Come break my bones, come spread my ashes.
Come wear me down, come wear me down.

In life a king, in death a failure.
Come help me cry, come help me cry.

“I wanted to be changed by the road.
I so wanted to change the road.
But somehow we both resisted change.
Somehow we were both too strong.
And yet we both winded away, unsure of where we head.
And it’s like we’re both confused as to who is who.
As if, late in the night, you can’t tell the runner from the road – the walker from the walked.
Maybe I am just the road, dreaming that I walk”

Dust in my throat, dust in my nostrils.
Dust in my mouth, dust in my eyes.
From dust I come, through dust I wander.
Dust I’ll remain – dust all I am.
Dust I’ll remain – dust all I am.
Dust I’ll remain – dust all I am.

There’s a me who always found his way,
But I can’t seem to find him just today.

If sometimes I ask you where to go,
Just don’t help me find the road,
Tell me you don’t know,
Please tell me so.

There was a me who always knew what was right –
That’s who I need to help me through this night.

So, if sometimes I ask you where to go,
Please don’t help me find the road,
Tell me you don’t know,
Please tell me you don’t know.

If sometimes I ask you where to go,
Just don’t help me find the road,
Tell me you don’t know.

If sometimes I ask you where to go,
Please don’t help me find the road,
Tell me you don’t know,
Tell me you don’t know.
No, no, no..

Wait darling wait, for the sound of electric guitars.
Wait darling wait, you will soon be in bed with the stars.

Wait darling wait, and don’t worry ’cause you will see,
Semen stains wash out surprisingly easily,
From leather back-seats of expensive cars,
And soiled toilet seats in the bars.

But why worry about emotional scars,
When tonight you’ll be sleeping under the stars.

Wait darling wait, and don’t worry ’cause you will see,
Semen stains wash out surprisingly easily,
From leather back-seats of expensive cars,
And soiled toilet seats in the bars.

But why worry about emotional scars,
When tonight you’ll be sleeping under the.. Stars.

Wait darling wait, for the moment he catches your eyes.
Wait darling wait, “You’re the shit” as they say in.
As they say at.
Wherever
they say that.

And don’t worry about emotional scars,
’cause tonight you’ll be sleeping under the…
Stars.

We always were too close – one day I will overdose.
The cross I can’t wait to bear, the sweetest drug I love to fear.

Creep up on me from behind, without a sound, sweet darkness of mine.

Autumnal grace you are, mother of my every scar.
You walk this road alongside me, in every shadow that I see.
You damage me, damage me. Com damage me.

Creep up on me from behind, without a sound, sweet darkness of mine.

Oh, sweetest little lover, twisted girl of dark.
You seduce me with your beauty.
So lay me down and lick my skin with your sweetest sickly tongue.

Deadly sister, I give myself to you.
So lick me, every inch of my soul, and send me naked into the void.
Pave the road and sink your thirstiest teeth into my neck.

(Creep up on me from behind, without a sound)
Darkness of mine.
(Creep up on me from behind, without a sound)
Tell me every lie and I’ll save you.
I’m in.
(Creep up on me from behind, without a sound)
Simply won’t give in.
Oh lover, you damage me, you damage me, again and again.
Come damage me.
‘Cause without that pain, I am nothing.

She keeps the world at bay
With walls built to stand come-what-may
And with that coldness on display, they held until today
She would hold her own
Running all alone
Ridding her road of every grain
To stay in control

But now
She cries
Alive

Suddenly she is down on all four
And the walls will support her no more
Cries her eyes out like never before
Onto this linoleum
The bottled up and stored

She’s won every war
And when she’s out that door
She will push ahead of you, frowning at the poor
She would move so fast not to end up last
Aiming for the finish line
To smile at those she’d passed

But now
She cries
Alive

Suddenly she is down on all four
And the walls will support her no more
Cries her eyes out like never before
Onto this linoleum
The bottled up.
And stored —

And sometimes
Oh, just sometimes
That’s really all it takes:
A hand on her shoulder
Then she breaks

Sometimes that’s really all it takes:
(Yes then)
A word of kindness and she breaks
(She breaks)
And then the sum of damage done
(Well she breaks)
Spills out on stale linoleum
(She breaks)

Sometimes that’s really all it takes:
(She breaks)
A gentle touch and then she breaks
(She breaks)
To see the sum of damage done
(She breaks)
Stain this linoleum
(Oh, she breaks)

Sometimes that’s really all it takes:
(Oh, she breaks)
A word or touch and then we break
(Oh, she breaks)
And all this world’s linoleum
(She breaks)
Can’t hold the sum of damage done —

(She’s becoming her last casualty)
Itsy bitsy Spider
Climbed the water spout
(If she breaks then at last she’ll be free)
Down Came the Rain
And washed the spider out
(But she keeps it together once more)
Now she stays on the ground
So she’ll never fall
(And runs another day to fight another war)
See she would rather drown
Than lose control

Your love is beautiful.
Your love is sensual.
My love will puncture your skin.
My love goes all he way in.

Your love is poetry.
My love is sodomy.
Your love is everything.
My love is anything.

We believe it’s personality, but really it’s sexuality.
We put faith in love and honesty, but the stuff that makes our history and sets
us free is curiosity,
Curiosity.
Curiosity.
Curiosity.

My love is physical.
A shameless animal.
One with all riding the wave.
A childish lust feeling it’s way.

We pretend it’s personality, but it’s really sexuality.
We put faith in love and honesty, but the stuff that makes our history and sets
us free is curiosity,
Curiosity.
Curiosity.
Curiosity.

You say love’s divine.
(My love if beautiful)
Well baby, so is mine.
(My love if beautiful)
See, the only time I hear you take the name of the Lord
(Your love will puncture my skin)
Is when you’re tied to the bed with your face against the head board.
(My love is beautiful
Your love will puncture my skin
We believe it’s personality)
So, do you take it in vain?
And why would you take it again and again?

We pretend it’s personality, but it’s really sexuality.
We put faith in love and honesty, but the stuff that makes our history and sets us free is.
Curiosity.

Tell me where it hurts, so I can reach the pain.
Tell me where it hurts. Just pump it through my vain.
Be brave and tell me where it hurts.

There’s something deep inside than you don’t want to show.
There’s something that you hide, ’cause you’re afraid I’ll go.
But no.
Tell me where it hurts.

You tell me not to go. (Tell me where it hurts)
Say you want to be my holy grail. (Tell me where it hurts)
And your skin is white like fallen snow. (Tell me where it hurts)
I don’t want to leave my marks. (Tell me where it hurts)
But if I do, are you brave enough to let me through to touch you where it hurts?

I’ll touch you where it hurts.
I’ll touch you where it hurts.
I’ll touch you where it hurts.
And you can touch me.
Come on and touch me where it hurts.

Everyone I know seems to be broken inside.
Everybody hurting just from being alive.

Touch me where it hurts.
Touch me where it hurts.
Touch me where it hurts.
Touch me where it hurts.
Come touch me where it hurts.

This time I’ll try not to get hurt
This time I’ll stay untouched with pain and dirt
This time I’ll stick to what I’ve learned
This time I’ll fly so low I won’t get burned

Maybe it’s not enough
Maybe this time it’s just too much
Maybe I’m not that tough
Maybe this time the road is just too rough
Walk down, so I sit down, mmh…

I’ve walked this road so many years
I’ve worn down all my boots, I’ve cried all tears
So many crossroads left behind
So many choices burned into my mind

Maybe it’s not enough
Maybe this time it’s just too much
Maybe I’m not that tough
Maybe this time the road is just too rough
To take me home

To take me home
To take me home
To take me home
But I walk on

Once there was a me who always knew the way,
Who somewhere on the road led me astray.

And I’ve seen so many souls,
(Always thought I’d change somehow, altered by the road)
Broken in despair,
(And become what I was always meant to be)
Lying at the curb,
(But every step along the way, every mile of road)
Gasping for air.
(Wore down the fearless manchild that was me)

Restless mind, you steal my mind.
Need to find a place to hide.

Slowly losing my innocence.
Slowly losing my.
Slowly losing my.

Once there was a me who always knew what was right,
But somewhere on this road he lost his light.

Always thought I’d be much more,
(Never thought I’d be this weak. Never thought I’d fall)
I would transform,
(And lose myself along these dusty roads)
Somehow, someday,
But here I am.

Reckless time, you steal my mind.
Need to hide each place I’ve found.

Still I’m losing my innocence.
I’m still losing my innocence.

We’re all losing our innocence.
I want that invincible time, that invincible me.
I want it all back.
I want it all back.
I want myself back.

I don’t know what she means to me, I don’t know why she moves me.
I don’t know where she needs to be, but it is not here beside me.
I don’t know what she means to me, I don’t know why she moves me.
I don’t know why she’s not with me, I just know that it kills me.
I don’t know what she means to me, I don’t know why she moves me.
And I don’t know where I need to be, but it is not here inside her!

SICK
It’s all SICK, I feel sick
I’ll be sick, then it’s fine
I’m conform to your norm
With a bucket full for me
I’ll be free, finally
I will see what you mean with your freedom

This world you call home
Not alone, happy drone
Won’t be sick of these cars
All these clothes, and these bars
All these sickening scars
I’ll believe in the way
Of the stripes and the superstars

I will fall in line and obey
‘Cause the price is so small
Almost nothing at all
If I’m just losing ME
Then the ideals and truths
Will follow naturally
Happily I will settle for
Your conformative apathy

If I could just get rid of this
Unsettling, uncomfortable
Unbendable
Bucket of insight and honesty
This SICK SICK SICK bucket of reality
But you see, see; this sick will stick
‘Cause it’s ME
It’s ME

Step into the dark age of treason
Today the only voice of reason
Would have to be the sound
Of the soup of the season
Hitting ground
Hitting ground…

SICK!
Feeling sickened by this fucking travesty
Is just a sign of sanity
You’re not alone
And every time that you hurt
Every cut, every scar
And every time you just hate
Everything that you are
It is simply the instinct to flee
To escape from this mess
This continuous rape
Of what’s true and what’s real

So you gnaw at your paw
To get out of this trap
Of the cage, of our time
All that rage
Is your struggle to survive
They think you wanna die
When in truth you just strive
Biting every hand
Just to stay alive

But can you hear that sound
In your ear, growing louder and louder?
The whole world around you
A pounding and grinding
That tells you that you’re not alone
It’s the sound of thousands and thousands
Of vixen teeth
Hitting BONE

Step into the dark age of treason
Today the only voice of reason
Would have to be the sound
Of the soup of the season
Hitting ground…

SICK…
Of these bars and these cars
I feel sick
You are making me sick
So sick
You are making me sick
It’s all sick
We’re all sick
You are making me sick

Soup of the season
Hitting ground

[1: Introducing Star]

(We saw you every day)
with your hands on your crotch and so much to say
You went from bouncing toy cars with golden motors
To neon striped BMWs and a court of drugged up nodders and quoters
Namefucking fame on all photos,
All cheered on and applauded by even richer promoters
Now when you’re a star, when you’ve reached this far
And the world really knows who you are
(really?)
You show off your six black Mercedeses and drink Cristal like they all do
And the poor outside your gates appall you,
And the only hood you see is the one on your car
Do you even have a clue as to who you are?
Bro, I don’t think so
I mean Mercedes, what a stiff old dull fart’s republican shit car
Sick of hearing you preach to the poor like before,
Only now you’re a coward, only letting TV through your door
Getting older, take a bow and just go
The rage on the stage getting colder like your hits on the chart,
But then the talk shows can still get you hard
Doin’ rhymes on your prime time fistfights
And spittin’ grime in the limelight like a star gets a chip off your shoulder,
A boulder that rolls and rolls over and over and over

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall

[2: Thus Quote The Craving]

You’re so fucking lost that with all of the costs
You still don’t see that in reality
The one thing you fail to buy yourself is a personality
You’re trapped in a mould of the rap, you sell but you’re sold
I mean, can’t believe that you’re paying all that gold to some home decorator that hands you buckets of conformity
Seems you’re losing your way together with your policy man,
Ending up with a new definition of poverty – it’s a joke
Like those you make in every video to reach the kids with the dough,
With every copied “aha yo” and worn out “bro”
Guess what we need is yet another clown who can feed our breed with another look and hooker hook
Now when “bitch” is mundane you take the lead with “wassup ho” and let TV blur your mouth once more
Just what we need in every store, thus quote the craving: “forever more!”
You’re so right – a shiny knight on a white steed, truly a hero
Yeah right
Fuck you – fuck you right down to the core!
You know what? You’re just another “Parental Advisory” bore!

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall…
When you’re rappin’ your shit y’all

[3: Redefining Vomatorium]

(Yo)
I guess when you’re that loaded you’d better empty the barrel
Every chance you get, is that so?
Empty your word and pose magazine, in magazine after magazine,
Let every shot go, let the shit flow
‘Cause the show must go on and on and on – you’re it bro!
But it’s sad to know, when your star implodes, all that shit hits the fans, just like your words back when you shone
But it’s getting late in the game, trapped in repeating your name, again and again,
Like you’re scared we’ll forget it
Can’t blame you, apart from that name you’re all embarrassingly the same, it’s so lame – can’t you get it?
And perhaps you are right in that fear – more sane than you appear in your self deploring cock obsessive koks delirium
But I say, to me you just redefine the old romans’ vomatorium

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you claim that you have fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall…

[4: Man Of The Masses]

You’re a man of the masses, took all the classes
Their asses are yours
All those bores who are paying the bills for your palace uphills
And your pills that will help you proceed in your greed
You are free of the chains that you need on your fans to adore, to kneel down before you,
More precious to you than your brains and your hands
They live for you!
If you could just see this old tree, this patriarchic hierarchy, up where you want to be, you need miles of roots to lick your boots
Don’t you see?
You’re a man of the masses, you need all those asses, their fate to relate to the one that you were
Do you know who you are? Who are you? Not the one in your words that they buy
They concur,you conquer, though a natural flunker,
You need them to stay not fly, to obey like the dogs that they are, the cogs under the hood of your Mercedes car
They will pay for your trip to the stiff upper lip
You’re a man of the masses, your trip is a journey through classes
You are high, they are low, and you need it to be so
See, without them you’d be nothing more than before, and you know that’s not much
It’s just or unjust such: just a sad little man… with his hand on his crotch

There’s nothing like a broken childhood
There’s nothing like a broken home
There’s nothing like a tale from your hood
There’s nothing like a record of restriction orders
Outspoken borderline disorders, a violent long way to the top
The longer that you fought yourself up, the longer the spitfall…
The longer the spit falls…
When you’re rappin’ your shit y’all

[5: YO]

You’re just another “Parental Advisory” sticker surfing beach boy
Yo!

The only cribs that we should care for
Are the ones that we are here for
The ones belonging to our children
That do that we do, scar from our wounds

The only cribs that make a difference
Where the magic really happens
Don’t come with a Mercedes Benz
Or a wide screen showing nothing
Showing nothing…

I’m sick of home control devices
Sick of sickening home designers
Sick of drugs and gold and strip poles
Sick of homies, sick of poses

Despite the nodding staff that serves you
Despite your name on clothes and perfume
Despite the way the press observes you
You’re just people… you’re just people…

Successful people
Dressed up people
Smiling people
Famous people
Red carpet people
Wealthy people
Important people –
But still just people

So fuck the million dollar kitchen
Fuck the Al Pacino posters
Fuck the drugs, the gold, the strip poles
Fuck the homies, fuck the poses
Fuck the walls they build around them
Fuck the bedroom magic nonsense
I don’t want to hear their voices
As long as they vote with their wallets

Fuck the silly “throw you out” joke
Fuck the framed cigar DeNiro smoked
Fuck their lack of originality and personality
Fuck this travesty
Fuck this new norm
Fuck conformity
Fuck their Kristal
Fuck their sordity
Fuck the way they fuck equality
Fuck their freebie gear
Fuck the ones they wear

(you’re just people – you’re just people…)

Successful people
Dressed up people
Smiling people
Famous people
Red carpet people
Wealthy people
Important people –
But still just people

Messed up people
Shallow people
Stupid people
Plastic people
Meta people
Theta people
Therapyople
Entropyople

Oh, fuck the ones they wear

I’m cribcaged
Cribcaged

The only cribs that we should care for
Are the ones that we are here for
The ones belonging to our children
That do what we do, scar from our wounds

You brought us the a-bomb in so many ways
Endorsed by God and The Book
So God loves a war monger?
Hey Mr. Blix: forget Iraq and the time it took
‘Cause I know just where to look

“Could we have a vote please?”

They came with a song – America
They wouldn’t stay long – America
We are America
God bless America
God bless America and Capitol Hill
‘Cause no one else will

So now you are scared
The Arabs will kill for their god
Like you do for yours?
Protect your obesity with your life man
Hey – Angry God or Diet Coke?
Who cares it’s all a joke

“Heil homo pecuniae”

Saving us yet another time
Earning a buck on every dime
Sick of America
Sick of America
Sick of America and Capitol Hill
Moving in for the next kill

Did you say “I love you”?

A simpler democracy
Where every flaw and failure is called a “Right”
A new form of freedom
Based on your income, your color, creed
And your choice of gun
But it provides great fun

“Dr. Phil or Oprah?”
“Letterman or Leno?”
“Idol or Big Brother?”

(we’ll be back after this short break)

It could have been good America
It could have been great America
Land of the brave and free
Welcoming you and me
But this Brave New World is not as new anymore
Each day a new store
Each year a new war
While chosen whites rule the poor

…in America

Oh, America
Don’t you walk out on me?
Just wait a second now
Please hear me now
Oh… I’ll do my best to love you
Oh yes I will
I know you’re out there
C’mon
Raise your voices
Don’t let them ruin your reputation
Don’t let them wreck your constitution
Not out of fear
Not out of greed

But you had a good run America
Your day in the sun America
Hello British Empire
Hello Roman Empire
Hello Soviet
There is a new kid in town
Joining the gone down
Finding what you found
Treading your worn – worn down ground

Rise to your former glory
Be brave and warm
Oh America

If I say I love you
If I say I love you
If I say I love you
Dare you love me too?

[One: Tonight I’ll Fall]

Tonight I’ll fall, looking for something wonderful yet casual
Extraordinarily temporal, and there you are – let’s go!

You hooked me on the dance floor
So here I am, back for more

You seem experienced, just an inch too keen on getting exposed
Having your face in every magazine
You’re far from being unique but you still look pristine
Mundanely exotic, like the French cuisine

My Disco Queen – let’s disco…

[Two: A Cheap Sellout Drug]

You’re a cheap sellout drug on everyone’s lips
Covered every day, done every way, a whole world at your hips

A bar to fit, the beats you take
Another hit and you will break

Undressed in front of me, all glistening ebony
You’re still so young, but I will show you vintage 33
I lay you on your back – inviting curves of black
Making little noises as my needle finds your track

My Disco Queen – let’s disco
Disco Queen – let’s disco…

[Three: A Tighter Groove]

You leave me wanting more, panting on all four
I know there’s more to pluck, and so I go for the encore

I am turning you around, to play your other side
A tighter groove, I want it but I tremble, slip and slide

Baby, you’re just what I need
You purr when I make you bleed

I pump you till you cry – feel so alive
I crank you up and switch to 45

A screaming climax chord, I give you all I’ve stored
A moment’s silence and you’re filled up, yet emptier than before
Oh – that subtle little sound as I am pulling out
A finished dish upon my plate is what it’s all about

A square round of greed
You surrendered to the rhythm, spinning around your hole
Disco made you famous but tonight you tasted soul

I pumped you till you cried – felt so alive
I cranked you up and switched to 45
You are just begging for more
But I unlock the door

(tonight I’ll fall…)

You’re old news now and so I leave you trembling on the floor…

[Four: My Disco Queen]

My Disco Queen…
My Disco Queen – let’s disco…

Someone sells us Toys™ in a cheap cartoon
Someone sells us Cars™ in the latest Bond™ that’s coming soon
Someone sells us Trends™ through a sitcom star
Someone sells Herself™ in a docu-soap that goes too far

Life™ on sale!

“Could someone please just tell me what happened?
I mean, first we pay for fast-food that will make us all fat and tired.
So then we pay for elevators, so we won’t have to climb the three stairs up to our apartments.
Then we buy freaking stairmaster™ machines
So we can burn away while watching someone make real food on TV.
Now, if that doesn’t make us winners I don’t know what will.
I bet we would hang ourselves if the world would just cut the slack.
And now you think maybe you should see a shrink,
Help you feel alive again – yeah, that’s a plan!
Just tell us who to pay.

Someone sells us Man™ in a White House™ speech
Then Woman™ tightly pressed between two bouncing breasts, on a Baywatch™ beach
Someone sells us Us™ everywhere I turn
Then introducing Them™ to earn stock-points on our concern

All for sale, all for sale

Welcome down to planet Earth™
Please don’t ask us what it’s worth
You will notice that the world you found
Is slightly tattered and worn down

Someone sold us every stain
Now if you wish to complain
There’s an open spot at 6 PM
It’s when Caucasia is listening

If you’re tearing down my world
Please just try to do it gently
There is love inside
For a dream that has to die

“See, it’s really all about time and choice.
The fast food saves us enough time to squeeze lunch in exactly when we want it.
The elevators save us just a little more, the StairMaster™ lets us choose exactly when to walk the stairs.
Time is so important these days, it’s becoming a fucking disease, and I guess in a way it is since it’s bound to kill us all in the end.
Now with all the time and money we stash away on others’ expense,
I can only assume that the tickets to hell are really expensive.
For some reason, it’s important to be first in line.”

Someone sells us God™ in 2-for-1 with Shame™
Someone sells us War™ and the marketing looks just the same
Someone sells us Fear™ on TV each day
a shape for every taste; if the flavour’s right, we gladly pay

All on sale,
We’re all on sale,

Welcome to the only Earth™
Please enjoy your only birth
You will learn to take more than you give
Buying scars you must live with
Someone sold us every scar
They somehow made us what we are
We all want that spot at 6 PM
But no one is really listening

No – not anymore
We’re all too busy buying Sex™, buying War™
Buying Self-confidence™, Security™, Insurance Plans™
Just buying More & More™

As you’re tearing down our world
Please just try to do it gently

There’s still love inside
For the dream that has to die

As you’re tearing down our world

(We’ll cut you down to size)
There is a woman burning at the center square
Raven black eyes and long let out hair
Screaming, while cloaked vultures holier-than-thou circle and glare
At sweat drops on pale skin like satin
And as the raging flames work her into cinder
Said in their defence:
Stupidity and ignorance, prejudice and intolerance
All sound so much wiser when dressed up in Latin

Life will never be the same
I have a bigger world since I found God
Truth will never be the same
I’m in a righter mind since I found God
(I found God)
I found…

Mrs Modern Mother Mary, all pale and weary
From raising her overweight kids in the outskirts of Suburbia
On a nice Christian gender based salary
And a church she can merely attend
And there on the flip-side of Caucasia we see
Miss Modern Mary Magdalene gone Deep Throat
On international cable TV

So you keep talking about progress and equality
But to me, the crusade is still on my friend

Silly me who always thought
Life was for the living
And giving in to lust
Was all to give and to be given

Life will never be the same
I have a better view since I found God
Guilt will never be the same
I’m on a higher ground since I found God
I found God…

Life will never be the same
I have a better view now
There’s always someone else to blame
I’m on the winning team now
Death will never be the same
I’m in the faster lane now
No more am I the one to blame
I have a juster cause now

Love will never be the same
Lust will never be the same
Shame will never be the same
I will never be the same
And
You will never be the same

Silence
Cold skin
Black mind
Blue light
Broken
Shut down
Knuckles
All white

Babel
Cold fact
Core mine
Black gold
Failure
Lockdown
Gun-hands
All sold

We’re waiting, so close your eyes
Relax and take a deep breath now
Believe the lies
When you wake up you’ll be democratized

Violence
Cold pin
Blood crust
Blinded
Damp sheets
Needles
Stale smiles
Sick bed

Guiltknife
Scarsoil
Sinstain
Killchrome
Footbare
Gone wrong
Blue lights
Bring me home

We’re waiting, so close your eyes
Relax and take a deep breath now
Believe the lies
When you wake up we’ll all seem nice
So close your eyes
Just take another deep breath now
And fantasize
Pretend the world we’re forming
Is a paradise

Why can’t I close my eyes?
Why can’t I just be hypnotized,
Industrialized and privatized?
All mesmerized

‘Cause I can see
And what I see around me makes me paralyzed
Yes I can see
And what I see is not worthy a democracy
It’s uncivilized
So please close my eyes
I don’t want to see this undemocratic,
semi-automatic mediocracy and hypocracy
Pretending we’re free
Under plastic flags waving dependency
For this idiocracy

Close my eyes…

I long for the summer
I long for the sun, gently touching my face
I’ll open my eyes, let it burn every splinter
Unleash desert storms on its way to my heart

And I had this coming every day of my life
This is where I stop fighting, eyes open wide

You took this blade and cut a wreck
And in one blow laid bare your neck
Where did we go wrong?

I once had blue eyes, hungry and wise
Now they are black from this dark age of lies
We’re all privatized, industrialized
We capitalize on the beams in our eyes
It’s all in the eyes

Eyes – tearing with sorrow
Burning with anger and passion and lust
The swift wind of thought
Of wildness and laughter
The soil of defiance
The firm ground of trust

(we had this coming – every day of our lives)
(we should start fighting for eyes open wide)

But I am put here, in this world gone insane
Where everything’s for sale
From nature, over stars down to DNA
Then I can gladly say
That I’d be the first to break that norm
Any day, any way
And the last to join the ranks
To hunt down the Daily Threat
Or any other brand of prey

You took this blade and cut a wreck
And in one blow laid bare your neck
Where did we go wrong?

We once had blue eyes, probing the skies
Now they are blackened from this modern life
All privatized, industrialized – a failure
Offensive and sore to the eye

One small step for man
Maybe this time I’ll fly
And if I hit the ground, it’s the way we all die
We are wrecks of the cut
Soups of the season
With dollar sign scars
From this dark age of treason

We all know how to cry
Then we learn how to smile
How to smile
We’re all telling the truth
Tell us the truth!
Then we learn how to lie
And oh, how we lie
Now we lie

When you bow your heads tomorrow
At the world we build today
I want you to remember
That I stood my ground and said no (say no)
I said no…
Say no!

“RUNNING”

In just a year another storm will come
To wash away an inch more blood
Its lack of hatred, politics or creed
Left us blind, open wide, our gun hands tied
For this old world has seen the worst of us
Its love worn thinner by the day
And every ounce of havoc, that we wreaked upon it
Got the best of us, oh, and the rest is for us

Let it rain…
Enter rain…
Exit pain

In seven years ago I’ll see a man
A moment stretched out over years
His eyes just flicker and then something changed
An empty cage, a crimson bud, sprung out in mud

Let it rain

In just ten minutes I will see a child
Buying milk all dressed up in rags
And without thinking he will cover up his naked hand
To the cold, oh, and that gives me hope

Let it rain…
Enter rain…
Exit pain

“STANDING”

And the rain will wash us to the bone
Leaving thousands in its trail
Cleansing all the flesh wounds
Of our time, of every crime
Of every pound of dust and grime

In two seconds I will hit the ground
A moment stretched out over years
And my eyes will flicker and then something has changed
An empty cage, a crimson bud, a street of blood
A city rose sprung out to greet the rain

You’ll never remember my name
But I will love you just the same
You’ll never remember my name
But I love you just the same
Just the same
Just the same
You’ll never remember my name
But I love you just the same
Just the same

“FALLING”

Enter rain…
(a city rose)
(a street of blood)

In two seconds I will hit the ground…

I am
I am
I am

I was not
then I came to be
I cannot remember NOT being
But I may have traveled far
very far
to get here

Maybe I was formed in this silent darkness
From this silent darkness
BY this silent darkness

To become is just like falling asleep
You never know exactly when it happens
The transition
The magic
And you think, if you could only recall that exact moment
Of crossing the line
Then you would understand everything
You would see it all

Perhaps I was always
Forever here…
And I just forgot
I imagine Eternity would have that effect
Would cause a certain amount of drifting
Like omnipresence would demand omniabsence

Somehow I seem to have this predestined hunger for knowledge
A talent for seeing patterns and finding correlations
But I lack context

Who I am?
In the back of my awareness I find words
I will call myself…
GOD
And I will spend the rest of forever
Trying to figure out who I am

[Fabricatio]

10,000 BC –
1 Million people
9,500 BC –
2 Million people
9,000 BC –
3 Million people
8,500 BC –
4 Million people
8,000 through 5,000 BC –
5 Million people
4,500 BC –
6 Million people
4,000 BC –
7 Million people
3,500 BC –
10 Million people
3,000 BC –
14 Million people
2,500 BC –
20 Million people
2,000 BC –
27 Million people
1,500 BC –
38 Million people
1,000 BC –
50 Million people
500 BC –
100 Million people
Year 1 AD –
170 Million people
500 AD –
190 Million people
1,000 AD –
254 Million people
1,500 AD –
425 Million people
Year 2,000 AD –
6,080 Million people

Trying to understand the system of Life
Trying to understand myself
I created the world to be an image of myself, of my mind

All of these thoughts, all of these doubts and hopes
Inside
I took out to form a new breed
A new way to be
And now I am many, so many

So much larger than ever I were
Yet, at the same time
So much smaller and more vulnarable

They all carry shards of the whole
Together they become me
I see them interact, develop
I see them take different sides
As were they different minds
Believers of different ways, and different gods

I think they will teach me something

[Homines Partus]

Spring came with awakening, came with innocense and joy
Spring came with fascination and desire to deploy
Summer came with restlessness and curiousity
Summer came with longing for the things we could not be

Take me to the forest, take me to the trees
Take me anywhere as long as you take me
Take me to the ocean, take me to the sea
Take me to the Breathe and BE

Autumn came with knowledge, came with ego came with pride
Autumn came with shamefulness for the things we could not hide
Winter came with anger and a bitter taste of fate
Winter came with fear for the things we could not escape

Take me to the forest, take me to the trees
Take me anywhere as long as you take me
Take me to the ocean, take me to the sea
Take me to the Breathe and BE

Teach me of the forest, teach me of the trees
Teach me anything as long as you teach me
Teach me of the ocean, teach me of the sea
Teach me of the Breathe and BE

See me! I am the one creation
Hear me! I am all the love that came from Animae
Know me! I am the incarnation
Fear me! I am all the power held by Animae
Me!

Give me of the forest, give me of the trees
Give me anything as long as it’s for me
Give me of the ocean, give me of the sea
Give me of the Breathe and BE

Give me all the forests, give me all the trees
Give me everything as long as it’s for free
Give me all the oceans, give me all the seas
Give me all the breathing BE

[(Deus Nova) On The Loss Of Innocence] [A Scene in Brown and Yellow:] At first I don’t know why your presence fills me with unease
Though I’ve missed you more than Life itself
I freeze
It’s like you’ve been lost and now you’re glad to see my face
But as you sit down my confusion turns to distress
Not knowing how to let you know that you are
Dead
(I wake up sweating)

They tell me you are better off
Where you are now
Well, I don’t care
They tell me that your pain is gone
Where you are now
Well, you left it here
See, I need to be strong
Need to be brave
I need to put faith in something
How could I live on
Not hoping we will meet
Again?

[A Scene in White and Grey:] Under the icon’s weight the old thoughts lay
Under the cross so still and pale
The flowers usher the stale breath of Death away
And someone tries to sing
But the bird of song has lost its wings
Now it twitches
Rips the stitches of a chest where tears are torn
And where all loss begins

Life seems too small when Death takes its toll
I need something to blame for this pain

[A Scene in Amber – Flawed:] And have you ever had that dream
Where one you love passes away?
And you wake up crying to a world
Where she’s long since gone
But you feel the pain
So close
As if she’d died today
But I need to be strong
I need to be brave
I need to put faith in something
How could I live on
Not hoping we will meet
Again
Some day?

Earth to Earth, Dust to Dust
A verse we know too well
Like a nursery rhyme
Just in reverse
‘Cause we are all the little tin man
With hearts like little tin cans
And as we line them down with tears
Over the years
They inevitably turn
To rust

Life seems too small when Death takes its toll
I need something to blame for this pain
I try, I fail, I fall, like anyone you know
I break, I bleed, like anyone you know

[A Scene in Blood on White:] Where the linen’s changed just for tonight
And somehow we beat her to this sight
This ghostly room of Exit
That she enters by the flicker of candle light
And in her breast
A desert storm is taking form
An old thirst that can never be quenched or killed
Sweeps over the cold
Broken but thousandfold
“My Love!”

[drifting]

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won’t you hear a sinner’s prayer
Oh Lord

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won’t you help me find the way
When I’m lost and lead astray
Oh Lord

Mmm…

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won’t you help me to stay humble
Oh Lord

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won’t you help me be an ocean
Help me bend to stay unbroken
Oh Lord

Mmm…

Save me, I’m drifting
H elp me, I’m drifting

Oh Lord…
Oh Lord…
Oh Lord

[Mr.Money:] – OK alright baby, the love of my life

[Girl:] – Are you referring to me… or the car?

[Mr. Money:] – Oh, please honey, what do you think?
– Now, Cindy…

[Girl:] – Sandra

[Mr Money:] – Yeah, of course. Now, as I see it, we’ve got two natural choices
here. So, what do you say? Either I drive and you can give me some
good head while I’m watching the road…

[Girl:] – What?

[Mr. Money:] – Well, somebody’s gotta watch the road honey…
– …or… YOU can drive this baby
– …oh, but only if you’re good at handling the stick of course…

[Girl:] – But… this is an automatic?

[Mr. Money:] – …rrrright!

[Girl:] – Is that some sort of sick joke?

[Mr. Money:] – What?

[Girl:] – … “natural choices” my ass!

[Mr. Money:] – Well, that’s a third choise I didn’t think about…

[Girl:] – You son of a…!

[Mr. Money:] – Take it easy baby!
– No sweat… it was only a joke, alright?

[Girl:] – Alright

[Mr. Money:] – … I mean, of COURSE I was joking…
– … I would NEVER let you drive my car!

[CLUE: pay attention to the radio…]

[I. Mr. Money] [Miss Mediocraty:] “Hey there sweetie. Don’t I know you? I swear I recognize your face…
and those beautiful eyes… You know, they say the eyes are the
doorway to ones soul… There’s a smile. A little shy, aren’t we? Hey,
do you wanna get out of here

[Mr. Money:] Hey Miss Mediocrity, gee, I’m sorry
You’ve seen me on TV, I’m Mr. Money
Now you want someone to hold you
And call when you’re in town
Someone to calm you and confirm you
Well, I’m here…
…to let you down
‘Cause outside these sexy cars
And far from my trendy bars
Behind these smiles…
[Miss Mediocraty:] “…maybe go someplace…”
[Mr. Money:] …And sunscreen…
[Miss Mediocraty:] “…more quiet, where we could… you know… talk!”
[Mr. Money:] …And “Live the Dream!”s…
[Miss Mediocraty:] “…and get to know each other…”
[Mr. Money:] I am cold!
[Miss Mediocraty:] “…no?”
[Mr. Money:] And mean!

[Miss Mediocraty:] “How about a ride in that Bentley up front? It’s yours isn’t it? I’ll
be a good girl, I promise!
…or bad…
…whatever you like!”

[Mr. Money:] Daily Finance – that’s me in the Armani
Got
Three Mercedes 350, two Ferraris
I Could have bought a Third World country
With the riches that I’ve spent
But hey
All modern economics claim that I deserved
Every single cent
And the one time I’m the lesser half
Is when we split the tab
So here’s to Friends, Family and Liberty, Genuinity, here’s to
Happiness, Success, Good Press, No Stress…
But most of all…

Here’s to Me!
Here’s to Me!
Here’s to Me!
There will be nothing left…
So…
Here’s to Me! ([Dea Pecuniae:] Oh baby, baby)
Here’s to Me! ([Dea Pecuniae:] I’ll take care of you)
Here’s to Me!
There will be nothing left…
Nothing left…
…for you

[Dea Pecuniae:] “If you’re looking for fulfillment
A Kingdom and a Crown
A Paradise of Free Rides
I am here…
…to let you down
I’ll get you the sexy cars
And a taste of divinity
A glimpse of the Stars
Immortality
But then Vanity
Will leave you dried and scarred
([Mr. Money:] That’s right, oh, give it to me!)

Here’s to Me! ([Mr. Money:] Oh baby, baby)
Here’s to Me! ([Mr. Money:] You’ll take care of me)
Here’s to Me!
To me”

[II. Permanere] [Mr. Money:] But then when it’s silent
And the lights from the bars go down
I need comforting
‘Cause somewhere there deep inside
Feelings of loss arise
And I hate to lose!

[III: I Raise My Glass]

They say it’s lonely at the top
Then I’m as lonely as can be
But I am not too sorry
You see, I’ve chosen this company
I got myself a winning team
It’s Me, Myself and I
You bet it’s lonely at the top old friends
And I’m here today to tell you suckers why!
(Dea Pecuniae!)
Dea Pecuniae
Money rules…
They claim that I get paid for my big Responsibility
But hey, you know…
That is just a lame excuse
For my egocentricity
They say that we’re really the same you and I
And I truly do agree
You see
Just like me
You live for me
Until the day you die
And so I raise my glass to all of you who really believe that I get
paid for my big responsibility
To all of you who suck it up and pay my debts
To all of you who think that my lifestyle does not affect the environment
Or the poverty
Well, maybe not more than marginally anyway
Good for you!
And you know what?
Here’s to you…
And I raise my glass, to those of you who give their piece of the cake
for free, for me to throw in the face of democracy
For those who help making solidarity ideologically untrendy
And charity individualistically idiotic, unsmart and characteristically bendy
I salute thee you poor bastards ’cause you all nod while I sit at your table
So let’s raise our glasses one last time, to give you all the greatest
recognition and credit of all times – cause after all, let’s face it;
that’s the only “thank you” you will ever get
So come on now – raise your glasses!
Here’s to YOU
There will be nothing left – no!
Nothing left…
…but money

[Breaching the Core] [Imago:] (I will never submit to all the things you’ve said god!)
No!

We’re breaching the core – we’re breaching the core
We’re breaching the core – we’re breaching…

To taste it
To touch it
Cut my hand
To crave it
Enslave it
Pluck my eye

I can never submit to all the things you’ve said God
If you want me dead, I’m right here God
But fear is a funny thing God
In that it gives you the strength to resist just about anything God
And friend turns to enemy
So easily
When you defend your legacy with guilt
And talk of blasphemy
God
You know
You created a golden cage for you sheep
A stage too wide and deep for us to even see the play
But hey
You know what they say about catching the bird
But you can’t make it sing?
You lose the bird the second it loses its wings
Just like I reckon you will lose your herd
To choirs of “I am, I am, I am”
And mountains and mountains of money and things!

We’re breaching the core – all breaching
We’re breaching the core – still breaching

[Animae:] “Help me I’m starting to fade
Save me I’m drifting away”

[Imago:] But we can change
We can change…?
I said we can change!

We can change, we can change – still breaching…
We can change, we can change – still breaching…

I hold it
I’m never
Letting go
I settle for rash rather than risk going to slow
I sought it
I killed it
But now I know
I’m left somewhat broken but I won’t let it show
Hear me now!

[Animae:] “Man is shattered
I am shattered
My shards have become shards of their own
Pieces of pieces, impossible to put back together
Spending their lives seeking a context they were always a part of
And so, they leave the context
And we shrink
I fade
And nothing more can be learnt or taught
I have no choice but to leave them to their own devices
I have come to understand one thing and one thing alone
One little piece of understanding
Glowing through this void of blankness and clean slates
Like a beacon of hope
Or just a reminder that I was always wrong:

“Searching for yourself is like looking for the house you stand in
How could you possibly find it?
It’s everywhere
It’s all you know
And there are no other points of reference”

[Animae:] Help me I’m starting to fade
Save me, I’m drifting away
Help me, I’m dying now
([Imago:] What are these stains? They stay, stay when it rains…)
Curtains before my final bow
([Imago:] …burning my skin. It’s burning… burning… burning my skin!)
Drifting, just drifting away
([Imago:] Burning… Take it away, it’s burning me… Burning my skin!)
Leaving with all that’s still left to say
([Imago:] Now life… now life… fails our kin!)
I failed
I failed
We failed
We failed…

[Homines Fabula Finis]

“See me”
“Hear me”
“Need me”
Some things will never change
“Touch me”
“Heal me”
Mankind remains the same

Oceans
Forests
Nations
Now everything bears our name
While Earth is bleeding
Nothing will remain
Nothing prevails

We were stuck in this world of change
Expecting it to remain
Now nothing is left unstained

No!

When there’s nothing more that we can trade
Own
Steal
Or sell

When there’s nothing whole because we took it apart
And
Just left
Moved on

When there’s nothing left for us to break
Use
Abuse
Or rape

Then you’re free to count how much you saved

I can see the ways we fail
I can see us fall so easily
A structure far too frail
I can see 40,000 years of knowledge and history
Invested in this child
Spoiled and stained by proud divinity
Gaining at best the perspective and wisdom
Of not even a fleeting century

We have now reached the final ten thousandth of a second
of our evolutionary year, as we hit 2,000 at a birth rate
of 250 people a minute

Tell me
How are we supposed to survive?
If we’re acting like fools
All dropping dead to stay alive?
Someone tell me
Please just show me
If there’s nothing to do, God we’ll turn to you
But if we’re an image of you
I reckon you are just as puzzled and ugly too

You think we have developed fast; that we’re civilized and intelligent
I’ll let you in on a secret: we have developed Things!
The rest is simply knowledge passed on
(I can see us drain this world
I can see us buying loss too cheap
Terra Sterilia washing its bronken hand of us now
Creation’s blackest sheep!)
Hell, 99% of humanity couldn’t put together a simple light bulb if you
put a gun to their heads!
And the intellect rubs off on fear

The year 2,010 AD: 6,823 Million people
2,020 AD: 7,518 Million people
2,030 AD: 8,140 Million people
2,040 AD: 8,668 Million people
2,050 AD: 9,104 Million people

I can see us read the signs
But spell them out in backward travesty
I see us close our eyes
To all the wounds that we inflict to this world by being “free”
We love this world to death
Purchasing our lifestyles with our lives
Defending our momentarily nations
With the loss of our priceless earthly home

It’s not hard to reach the top
It’s not hard not knowing when to stop
It’s not hard to take all
Not very difficult to fly if you settle for a fall
It’s not hard to cross a line
It’s not hard to push and go to far
Some creatures cannot climb
Then there are us who cannot even learn how to stay alive

I’m sorry!
For the things we did and did not do
Forgive us; the fools that rushed ahead without a clue
I am sorry
Please forgive us
For this human lack of humanity
This evolutionary travesty
This tragedy called “Man”
…called “Man”…

I’m sorry!
For the things we did and didn’t do
Forgive us; the fools that rushed ahead without a single clue
…without a single clue…

2,060 AD: 1.2 Million people…

[Permanere?] [Imago:] I see us in you Nauticus
Came so late but I pray
At the last light of day
There might still be a chance
To save this beast of clay

I see us in you Nauticus
As you’re drifting along
Built to last
Young and strong
Will you find us the answers
Before we are gone?

It’s getting late in the day…

[Martius, son of Mars] [Obitus Diutinus] [Mr. Money:] I woke up today
Expecting to find all that I sought
And climb the mountains of the life I bought
Finally I’m at the top of every hierarchy
Unfortunately there is no one left
But me

I woke up today
To a world that’s ground to dust, dirt and stone
I’m the king upon this withering throne
I ruled every forest, every mountain, every sea
Now there’re but ruins left to rule for me
And… you see, it beckons me;
Life turned its back on us
How could you just agree?
…how? I just don’t see…

I woke up today
To a world devoid of forests and trees
Drained of every ocean, every sea
Just like a useless brick upon the shore
The morning after the storm
That swept the bridge away
Relentless tide
No anger
Just this relentless time
That calls us all on
But…

I’m never crossing that line
Leaving this world behind
I will stay on my own
On this bloodstained throne
I rule the ruins and wrecks
And the dust, dirt and stone
I rule rage rod and rattling of bones

I am on my own
I am all alone
Everything is gone
Stuck forever here
Already cold

I’m never crossing that line
Leaving this world behind
I will stay on my own
On this bloodstained throne…

I’m never crossing that line
Leaving this world behind
I will stay on my own
On this bloodstained throne
I rule the ruins and wrecks
And the dirt and the dust and the stone
I’m the ruler of rage rod and rust
And the rattling of bones
Ruler of ruin…

[Martius]

I’m at the line – I see it all
I am Nauticus now
And so much more
I am all you know

I’m at the line – just at the line
An eternity at the blink of an eye
In this place called time
I’m everything
Everywhere
I am all
Omni
“BE”

[Nauticus II]

I feel every mountain
I hear every tree
I know every ocean
I taste every sea (…)

I see every spring arrive
I see every summer thrive
I see every autumn keep
I see every winter sleep (…)

For I am every forest
I am every tree
I am everything
I am you and me
I am every ocean
I am every sea
I am all the breathing “BE”

I am!

“Can You see him?

Lying alone on that hotel room
but with her still present
in the warm of the sheets
and the taste in his mouth
and the sweet on his skin

He has walked the roads
turning bleak
a child of Entropia
setting himself on fire
seeking a distant past
for a way out

Challenging the concept
freedom
and youth
falling into the undertow

Can You see him now?”

She is twelve and I’m only ten
buried in this soft mountain of pillows
Parents away
She asks me have I been touched
Have I done the thing with anyone yet
Silence – a shy “no”

And there is nothing
That we’d rather share
Than that bodily warmth if we’d dare
But she’s already twelve and I am
Just a child
WARM AND SHY

She’s so OLD – already twelve and I am only ten
Than was me, young and free, there and then

Now in this hotel room I lie wondering who I am
Never quite as sure after a lie of questioning
Finding out at last that freedom is
A STATE OF MIND
But still not knowing how to get along with this mankind

…finding out at last that freedom is a state of mind…

And so I find myself here once again – first step down Remedy Lane
Budapest you tore my world apart – well, here I am
Worn with rope ends on my mind, torn with blood scarred in my eyes
But now I’m back to shake that from my life

Ending Theme, ending theme
Ripping at the seams, for an opening

Back again at Deak Ter – I know I could have left her there
It was the feeling of leaving myself that I could not bear
The same old hotel room in Pest one night before the Sziget fest
Hungarian Princess will you share my rest?
To rest in my…

ENDING THEME
ENDING THEME
Ripping at the seams, for an opening

to be honest I don’t know what I’m looking for – who to be
sitting here as once before, weeks ago – just waiting for a knock on that door
and I have left all I thought was me to find out, to make sure if it was you or me
that made me feel so free and real, but when we kiss I don’t know, I just don’t know
’cause it leaves a taste of emptiness, and I think What if I’m simply depressed?
blind, just finding rest from my mind here in Budapest?
confusing zest with the joy of being blessed with the bliss of self-escape as we kiss?
and mixing my being unstressed with your being undressed and the taste of being true
with the fresh taste of me and you as we touch? I don’t know
but I saw so much of me in you, the me I’ve missed, the young and free in you
but still, that doesn’t mean a thing, may not mean anything about my needing you
but I guess we had to meet, to be near; to make sure, and still my dear
beyond this bed and that door, to be honest, I fear I just don’t know

ENDING THEME
ENDING THEME
Fanning flames to dreams of belonging
ENDING THEME
ENDING THEME
Ripping at the seams, for an opening

[Johan Hallgren]

to be honest I don’t know what I’m looking for…
lying here, watching you leave through that door

Watch them dance…

She is intimacy – a wonder of closeness
Fighting hypocrisy – a lonely child that
Never could believe, yet never give up
On life’s insanity
Understanding is all, she fails to find it
She can never fall

All her life she’s longed to be weak
All this time on roads turning bleak
Watch her dance…

He is sharpness of mind – a lonely Peter Pan
Always standing behind and from a distance
Looking at a world of love and deceit

This child of air defies every rooftop and tree
Instead of what he’s craving for the most
Getting close!

Live that you might find the answers
You can’t know before you live

Love and life will give you chances
From your flaws learn to forgive

All his life he’s sought to be brave
All this time sought someone to save
Watch him dance…

They are two of a kind
Two children warm and wild
In a world going blind they raise their voices
Speaking for the mute
Building dreams of love finding their way through it
They are turned into myths – a beacon of hope

Live that you might find the answers
You can’t know before you live
Love and life will give you chances
From your flaws learn to forgive

ALL HIS (life) HE WAS (just) WISHING
(to) BE TOUCHED (but) TOO SCARED (of)
WHAT HE (de)SIRED
(while) ALL HER (life) SHE WAS (an) OBJECT
(of) GROWN MEN’S (de)SIRE (and) WISHED TO
(be) UNTOUCHED
(now) THEY MUST (try) TO WORK (their)
UNFORGOTTEN sexuality OUT!

Watch them dance…

Always being much more human than they wished to be

They built up a world so wonderful
So pure and tense
Stained only now and then by the blood
Of their young innocence…

All their life on Tolkien’s grounds
All their time on islands unfound

Trapped in a Fandango

Watch them dance!
Fandango!

Live that you might find the answers
You can’t wait before you live
Love and life will give you chances
From your flaws learn to forgive…

Touching ground Going home to those I miss
Safe and sound Weeks of exile turn to bliss
But there’s something in her voice When she is calling me
A trace of blood to lead me
Through roads of agony With blood taste in my mouth
And clouds before my eyes
I kneel beside the bed Where my bleeding dryad lies

Three young souls in misery

Hitting ground Nausea wakes me up at dawn
Hopes are found
Dissected, turned and then
Withdrawn
A chair of steel and wire Her legs are open wide
Helpless in myself I stand there cold beside
The doctors stay away Leave us with this dismay
To see the colours of a miracle Fade and turn to gray

Then a cry and rivers of blood Flow so sadly
bringing you
Our dreams pour into a cold tray Two young souls in misery
Missing you

“How quickly the colors change
from blue to red to black
and why am I always away
wrapped up in something
unable to live with all this
love
I ask of the world to leave
to be silent and pretend
that it never happend”

I never knew your name but I will miss you just the same
I was to live for you I lost the will to live at all the day you came
It’ll never be the same but I will love you just the same
You were to be the first, how wonderful
Now I will always fear to hope again

The irony Of seeing me whispering through her skin
So joyfully To our child there deep within
Or of when she called to me To tell me cheerfully
That she had seen your shape On a hospital screen
And of nurses being concerned That you never moved or turned
Too late we see the warnings Too late we learn

[Hallgren] [Gildenlow]

I never saw your face and now you’re gone without a trace
Except the trace of blood that’s deeply scarred into my eyes To fill your place
It’ll never be the same but I will love you just the same
I was prepared to be your father How can I ever prepare for that again?

Still I follow that trace of blood Always leading back to you
Hollow years of damming that flood Two young souls in misery

Missing you… missing you…

I lie awake watching your shoulders
Move so softly as you breathe
With every breathe you’re growing older
But that is fine if you’re with me

I pledge to wake you with a smile
I pledge to hold you when you cry
I pledge to love you till I die
Till I die

The rays of dawn plays on your eyelids
A sleeping beauty dressed in sun

I will wake you with a smile
I will hold you when you cry
I will love you till I die
Till I die
Till I die

I believe this heart of mine when it tells my eyes
That this is beauty
I believe this heart of mine when it tells my mind
That this is reason
I believe this heart of mine when it cries at time
That this is forever
I believe this heart of mine when it tells the skies
That this is the face of God

[Daniel Gildenlow]

I lie awake watching your shoulders

I dream my dreams at night – my life’s a cartoon of black and white
I’m sick of this paint on my face!
I’m always the one to make the show – a laughing clown, wings black as a crow
I carry this large mind with pain
A mind in this world seems in vain

I remember all those years, running through the freedom
What became of the child I used to be?
I remember all those tears, melting my own face and now
It has become the one I thought was yours

Oh, look at this pityful young soul – is he beyond or behind, who knows…
But there’s no one to burn at his pace
Contemplating wave lenths in the bath while scorching himself to make us laugh
The beckoning mind cannot be
Insanity might set it free

[Fredrik Hermansson]

I remember all those years when I was invincible
What became of the child that used to laugh?
I remember all those fears, bleaching this mild heart and now
It has become the gray I thought was yours

If you’d just let him in, if you would just touch him
He would love, he would grow, he could rest his old soul
Maybe he’s difficult but he’s beautiful
Wild at heart, troubled mind, torn apart, seeking his kind

[Daniel Gildenlow]

Let me go
Let me go
Let me seek the answer that I need to know
Let me find a way
Let me walk away
Through the Undertow
Please let me go

Let me fly
Let me fly
Let me rise against that blood-red velvet sky
Let me chase it all
Break my wings and fall
Probably survive
So let me fly
Let me fly…

Let me run
Let me run
Let me ride the crest of chance into the sun
You were always there
But you may lose me here
Now love me if you dare
And let me run

I’m alive and I am true to my heart now – I am I,
but why must truth always make me die?

Let me break!
Let me bleed!
Let me tear myself apart I need to breathe!
Let me lose my way!
Let me walk astray!
Maybe to proceed…
Just let me bleed!

Let me drain!
Let me die!
Let me break the things I love I need to cry!
Let me burn it all!
Let me take my fall!
Through the cleansing fire!
Now let me die!
Let me die…

Let me out
Let me fade into that pitch-black velvet night

She is still young…

Another day of emptiness
This life is wearing her down
The room around her is a mess
Her children safe with her mom

She is still young but feeling old
Two children with different fathers
She sits on the bathroom floor alone
The shower chain broke
Her neck hurts

Then another night of emptiness to wear her down
Naked to the world she wraps her sadness in a gown
Her children fast asleep she sears the dark with glassy eyes
Choosing carefully among her husband’s business ties

“Over!” she cries through rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
But life holds her hand, refusing to let go
Leaving her breathing on the floor

They’re still asleep don’t hear her cry
And she’s still obsessed with rope ends
This time she picks a stronger tie
With Winnie the Pooh and friends

She is still young but feeling old
A child dying to be a mother
Now she hangs from the ceiling all alone
All pressure is falling from her

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she’s raised on disbelief
Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about hopelessness
Seeing that no effort in this world can stand her test

“Over!” she cries through rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
And Winnie is strong, would never let her fall
Prevents her from breathing till she’s not there at all
But life holds her hands, refusing to let go
Leaving her breathing on the floor

[Johan Hallgren] [Daniel Gildenlow]

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she’s raised on disbelief
Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about helplessness
Seeing that no caring in this world can ease her stress

Helpless she lies in rope ends and undies
Unseeing eyes fixating Eeyore’s smile
“Over!” she cries as she’s going unblind
Still in this life
Still in this troubled mind
The ceiling let go, the old house let her fall
Dropping her breathing to the hard cold floor
Hitting her head – a broken china soul
Red stains on porcelain and she’s not there at all

Breathing she cries for rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful eyes Piglet stands shy behind
Broken she lies undead and unblind
Beautiful life
Beautiful crying young eyes
Blackened and bruised, learning how to see
Staring at her tooth – crimsoned ivory
Hours they pass this broken china soul
Red stains on porcelain
And she’s not there at all…

“…and years later I would find You hanging
alas the subte irony in shortering life with an extension lead
before I could get You down I died so many times…
thoughts about running to the kitchen for a knife to cut You down
but I learned that there is no way of leaving the room
when someone is hanging from the ceiling
Your body just won’t allow You that rest
You stay
to watch her face slowly turn blue
finally to let You weight add to hers
doubling the burden
awaking her to the burden
that brough her there in the first place:
LIFE”

“The Sisters of Solitude…

They love and hurt, break and are broken, the sisters of solitude
They cannot shake the dust from the ground
Cannot rise from the ashes, the sisters of solitude
They reach out to embrace the world, good and evil, weak and strong
They will settle for nothing less, the sisters of solitude
They love that they be loved, give that they be given
Hurt that they get hurt, the sisters of solitude
Hence, one loses weight by the second
Throws up what she can instead of what she cannot
Hence, two have tried to hang themselves, too strong to shut life out
Yet too weak to live it
Hence, the little one dissapears, melts into the walls, stands back
Agrees, unsatisfied
They all carry the end of the world in their chests
Heirs of sadness and irony, of settling for less, of bitter consent
Of mothers and mothers of solitude
They all carry to break free, the sisters of solitude
I fear them all so…
I love them all so…”

“Please let me be yours please never leave
Please stay here close to me
All love we shared where is it now?
Please let me be better than I was
Please don’t give up on us
The thought of leaving you – I don’t know how”

“I can feel the pain you have inside
I see it in your eyes
Those eyes that used to shine for me
I can feel the wildness in your heart
That’s tearing us apart
My love how can I help if you don’t want me?”

“There is nothing you can do to help me now
I am lost within myself as so many times before
There’s nothing you can do to ease my pain
I am so, so sorry but if you love me you must let go”

Two young souls in the dance of a chain sling
Love once born from the ink of Solitude
Bidding to dance in the swing of a rope end
Walking their Remedy Lane
trough this interlude of pain

Who will be there now?
When I lose one true love?
(When I lose my love)
I am falling now
Darkness below and above

There is nothing you can do to help me now
I am lost within myself as so many times before
There’s nothing you can do to ease my pain
I am so, so sorry but if you love me you must let go

Two young souls in the dance of a chain sling
Love once born from the ink of Solitude
Bidding to dance in the swing of a rope end
Walking their Remedy Lane through this interlude of pain

Who will be there now When I lose my one true love?
(I am falling now)
Have I lost Myself? To love someone else…

“Please let me be yours please never leave
Please stay here close to me
All love we shared where is it now?
Please let me be better than I was
Please don’t give up on us
The thought of leaving you…”

I DO NOT KNOW HOW

“Then came a girl
A dryad of the woods
with a sing over her door saying
“If you enter
You must forgive me everything!”
With a heart too big and brave
To let me dissapear
And still I hear
“May I sleep at your feet?”
And so she went over my fence
And reached out a hand
That I had to take
That I just had to take

…love
never let me
lose that love
never let me
lose that love
never let me
lose that love
never…

Sometimes, forgiving will
just take you one step too far
and you find yourself on Remedy Lane

Sometimes forgiving is too much
like self abuse

Sometimes forgiving leaves
too much sear tissue behind

Even if I could one day learn
to forgive you everything
Could I learn to forgive myself?

probably
I simply
didn’t
understand
the full
notion of
the world
forgive”

“yes
I am in love
I wanted to
find out
right?
…but…
in love
with whom
or with what?

to love to a city
to the flesh
to the past
to the laugh
uncontrolled
to myself again
and suddenly I know
that this is dangerous”

Ticking… Ticking… Wishing… wishing…
Standing here in Buda trying to explain
To myself and to the girl beside
Why I feel so weightless and free from all my pain
Telling yourself that you’re here inside
For the wind is in my hair as we are on this sun hot roof
And far below the Danube passes as we talk
And I’d like to think that this is what you wanted me to find
This happiness could help us rebuild what we’ve lost

Calling – Waking every god
Falling – Love is in my blood
Breathing – love is life unbound
Kneeling – let me tread its ground
Through her eyes I can see who you used to be
Through my eyes she can see
What that feeling means to me

Oh, ticking…
Wishing I was stronger – wishing I was whole
Wishing I was someone that I’m not
And I wish that I could linger to the faith I used to have
Wishing of myself to be a god
I’m wishing to be a god!

[Daniel Gildenlow] [Johan Halgren]

Calling – waking every god
Falling – love is in my blood
Breathing – love is life unbound
Kneeling – let me tread its ground
Through her eyes I can see who I used to be
Through my eyes she can see
Numb anxiety!

Love take me home
Life shake me home!

“We are eleven and she is the love of my life
But one week from now she will turn her back on me
Four years from now she will give me hope, then sleep with my best friend
Five years from now it is the two of us but by then there is nothing
left of this aching love amd this soaring love.
But I don’t know that now
Because we are eleven and she is the love of my life.”

Day after day
Nothing’s changed you’re far away
But I need you to know that I can’t sleep anymore
By the nights
Night after night
The stars are shining so bright
Though our pain is larger than the universe tonight

I want you to know I can’t sleep anymore
By the nights
By the nights
Day after day I want you to say
That you’re mine
You are mine

Year after year
Tear after tear
I feel like my heart will break in two
You came like a wind I couldn’t defend
You cut my heart so deeply
The scars won’t mend

I’ll never believe in love anymore
After this
After this
Can never change or rearrange
What we lost
What we lost

[Gildenlow]

Time after time
I am wasting my time
Living in a past where I was strong
But now I am gone
I leave no shadow when I’m alone
I’ll stay forever in my dreams where you are near

Want you to know I can’t sleep anymore
By the nights
By the nights
Day after day I want you to say
That you’re mine
You’re mine

And SEX was always there from when I was only eight years – tempting me leave thirsty
Sweat, skin, a PULSE divine to balance this restless MIND – it seemed so wonderfully physical
Oh the BLOOD, the lust, the bodies that color the world: all drugs to die for! Won’t you share my fire?
How can LOVE make that world a minefield of forbidden GROUND?
A map of untouchable skin and SILENCED desire?

And love was there in vain, PROFOUND and deep but traced with pain – too early for a child of TEN
Loving the pure and sane he sought the goddess unstained – watching them turn to flesh again
HUNGRY for both the PURITY and SIN
Life seemed to him merely like a GALLERY of how to be
And he was always much more HUMAN than he wished to be
But there is a LOGIC to his world, if they could only see

Wishing – Sickened – Ill – Ticking

SOMEONE still this hunger (it’s in my blood) always growing stronger (ticking)
BUDAPEST I’m learning, Budapest you’re burning me

This is not who I wanted to be, this is not what I wanted to see
She’s so young so why don’t I feel free now that she is here under me?

Naked – Touching – Soft – Clutching

And then after all it lead me here to wake up again
Seeking a love that might make me feel free in myself but then it proves to be
Something that hurts inside when we touch, so I move on, I lose my way
Astray I’m trying too much to feel unchained, to burn out this sense of feeling cold
And every day I seek my prey: someone to taste and to hold
I feel alive during the split second when they smile and meet my eyes
But I could cry ’cause I feel broken inside!
COME and DROWN with me- the UNDERTOW will sweep us away!
And you will see that I’m ADDICTED to my HONESTY
Trust! ‘Cause after all my sense of TRUTH once brought me here
But I’ve LOST control and I don’t know if I am true to my soul
I’ve lost CONTROL and I don’t know if I am true to my soul
Losing control and I don’t know if I am TRUE AT ALL

[Johan Hallgren] [Daniel Gildenlow]

And we were always much more human than we wished to be…
And I remember when you said you’ve been UNDER him – I was suprised to feel such pain
And all those years of being faithful to YOU despite the hunger flowing through my veins
And I have always tried to calm things down – SWALLOW down swallow down
“It’s just another small THORN in my crown”
But suddenly one day there was too much blood in my eyes, and I had to take this WALK down
REMEDY LANE of whens and whys…

Empty – Licking – Clean – Choking

SOMEONE still this hunger (possessing my mind) always growing stronger (craving)
BUDAPEST I’m learning, Budapest I’m burning me
This is not who I wanted to be, this is not what I wanted to see
She’s so young so why I don’t feel free now that she’s under me?
In the morning she’s going away in a Budapest taxi I’ve paid
Seeking freedom I touched the untouched – it’s too much – I’m BEYOND THE PALE…

Prematurity is the story of both you and me, and we were always much more human than we wished to be
Prematurity is truly the story of both you and me, and we were always much more human than we wished to be
We were always much more human than we wished to be – we were always much more human than we wished to be
We will always be more human then we wish to be

WE WILL ALWAYS BE SO MUCH MORE HUMAN THAN WE WISH TO BE…

“I am the unclean
The black drop at the bottom of your cup
You’d better drink or throw me up
‘Cause I am on your lip and tongue
God
I’m not yours as much as you are mine
So let me in to be your lung
Just breathe me deep and take another sip
So still
A taste so sweet but so bitter the kill
Still on your lip
You are so close
I’ll let you come
Between my legs you are closer death than sun
And I’m not your daughter as much as you’re my son
I’ll let you come
In my mouth on your lip
So ready and thirsty for the next sip
You let me in, I let you come
I’d never let you down
You let me win, I let you drown!”
Getting used to pain

I am crying unwept tears through this violence
I’ll die trying to break this thick crust of silence

“I am the greatest star
So bright that you all come forth and beg to taste my light
I can take you far but I’ll burn you out before we get there
But hey! Who am I to stand in your way?
Go ahead; swallow me down!
I’ll have no problems finding myself out
When you’ve gone down
When your all cracked and wound.”
Getting used to pain

I am crying unwept tears through this violence
I’ll die trying to break this thick crust of silence

Trading pain is a bad deal
I’ve got more than my share
Too much to bear!
Every beat of the hammer
Every blood stricken street:
A way to trade off heat.

They will bleed till I’m empty
If I deserve to die I’ll make it show
I will stain your affection, I will wear out your heart
You’ll follow where I go

Blood stains
Cut veins
Filthy
Murder
Leave me…

She walks these empty streets alone
Hiding from something they call “home”
Hoping to find some peace of mind
Sometimes we need to walk alone

She is set on running away
Though her mom was yelling she must stay
A wind beaten bird for reasons unheard
Sometimes it is best to run away

So fly away, fly away, fly away
Don’t be afraid, don’t hesitate, fly away

Some wear their bruises on their skin
Others hide their scars deep within
She has a wound close to her womb
Blames herself for letting it in

So fly away, fly away, fly away
Don’t be afraid, don’t hesitate, fly away
But She’s afraid, she’s afraid, she’s afraid
Anyway
See those eyes, see those eyes, see those eyes
Hate and lies, a fire that slowly dies
But She will fly, she will fly, she will fly
Before it dies

Sometimes the hands that feed
Must feed a mind with a sick need
And the hands that clutch can be
The same hands that touch too much
Eyes that hungrily stare
Read in an access that’s not there
While eyes close to hide tears
Or look away in fear
Run away!

Passing the open stores
Hiding her dirty sores
Seeking asylum among freaks and whores
What wouldn’t she give to be in a society
Not learning the eyes to be closed but to see

Now she bites the words
“Never”
She kicks the ground
“Never”
Swallows her tears
“Never will I go back”
She hits the walls
“Leave me!”
Scratches herself
“Leave me!”
Begs to all Gods
“Rip me from this sick flesh!”

“I will always be there”
“No!”
She holds her ears
“You know that I love you”
Pretends that she doesn’t hear
“We’re in this together”
“We share the same skin”
Panic in his voice now
“Free us from sin”

“Tell me that you love me”
This is the end
“I know that you do”
Of her way
Never ever again
Follow me down

“God forgive this hunger”
“Please mommy see”
“Never tell a soul”
“Is it me?”
A child will love its parents
Will follow them down

She swears to the pavement’s heart of stone
That these city lights will be her home
But still as they burn she will return
Back to the adults. . . of her home.

You claim I don’t know you, but I know you well
I read in those ash eyes we’ve been through hell
I’ve walked with the weakest just to feel strong
You’ve given your body just to belong

Let’s burn together
Let’s burn together

This pain will never end
These scars will never mend

I taste your sorrow and you taste my pain
Drawn to each other for every stain
Licking the layers of soot from your skin
Your tears work my crust to let yourself in

Touching you harder
Touching you harder now

As we walk through the ashes
I whisper your name
A taste of pain to cling to
As we walk through the ashes
You whisper my name
Who’s the one with the sickest mind…
now?

This pain will never end
Our scars will never mend
Cleansing sweat
We are just using each other
Too depraved to stay alive
But too young to die
And we hurt
Thus we hurt

Scrubbing it harder
Too late to back out now
Scrubbing it even harder
As these two broken barren desolate disordered words collide

As we walk through the ashes
I whisper your name
A taste of pain to cling to
As we walk through the ashes
You whisper my name
Who’s the one with the sickest mind…
now?

This pain will never end
These scars will never mend
Damn this dirty bed
Damn this dirty head

For as long as I can remember
I have wanted to silence every beating heart,
Every sound of breathing.
Now there is something inside of me
That aches as I hear you breathing here
When you sleep between these morning sheets

I am the tears in your mouth
I am the weight on your shoulder
I am the scream that wants out
And my heart just couldn’t grow colder
Now this rusty heart is my gift
This fallen love is my rift

Morning arrives on an Earth I’ve never seen before
Revealing a life that I never really understood
Strange, the way beauty can hurt the opened eye
Much more than all of the filth and pain
That we’re soaked in ever could

I am the tears in your mouth
I am the weight on your shoulder
I am the scream that wants out
And my heart just couldn’t grow colder

Hear this voice,
See this man standing before you
I’m just a child trapped inside the body of a man

“An acquaintance so oddly old
Bred not to love
Suffers the beaten grounds of Idioglossia
We talk but we do not speak
Together only in our incapability to leave this fallen playground
We rule this Empire merely with these few crippled toys
Rust in our faces
This is what we can share
This is all we can lose
Still, furiously, we will linger to it with our lives
Cling to its rust and pains
Barefoot and torn
Bred not but born to love.”

Hear this voice,
See this man standing before you
I’m just a child trapped inside this fallen man
See this child

It all comes back to me

Face to the floor
Heart in my mouth
My forehead hits the pavement
Again – numb – again
Sharing this humility
A circle of humanity
Momentarily black in me
Immomentarily black
So black

Memory leave me be
Close that eye leave love blind

When outcome is preceded
By an outlet that is needed
We forget all but the circle
As soon as the ends have met
As soon as the ends have met

I scratch the surface and see
Someone better than me
Where did I suffer that loss?
What was taken from me?

As you walk through the ashes
Remember my name
As you walk through the ashes
As you walk through the ashes
Remember that shame
Whisper my name

This blood proves me right
In that the last move is all that
Counts if the beasts must bite
Vow to the floor
Oath to the taste of dust
In my mouth – never!
I bite the words – never again!
Will I let anyone else finish
I’ll be the end of every way

Memory let it die left behind
Leave me blind

Kneeling in whirlpools
Of pink champagne
Celebrating the bravery of my pain
Something broke
And no water could ever wash
The anger from that first stain

I scratched the surface to find
Someone wicked and blind
Where did it come to that end?
Why can’t these scars ever mend?

Memories…

I have swallowed all these tears
Thought they’d be gone
After all these years
Now this heart is waking up
With a new hunger
For my own blood

As I search through the ashes
For someone to blame
I’m afraid to see my face
As I walk through the ashes
I whisper your name
Meeting you have forced me
To meet myself

It all comes back to me

Face to the ground
Heart in their mouth Foreheads hit the pavement
Again – numb – again
Sharing my hostility
A streetful of insanity
This is payback for every
Tear in me, hole in me
Black in me – black!

Memory history agony
Let me see that hideous
Idioglossia that formed me

Despite all these words
Not one could express
What I had inside
Living was to hide

For every time you froze me out
For every punch every shout
For not believing in me
For your stupidity
For stealing what could have been
Me

It all comes back to you

Is this all I am?

Looking at you I see her face
Through all these years, just waiting
It all catches up to you when you slow down

I’m back in that yard, tasting that shame
Of pushing her down, Of kids and her games
…their strongholds

We had a bigger world – we had a better view
I guess I never fully realized then
What she lost when I cut that loss

So she filled the void with unearthly friends
Voices of hers – greater… than us

We had a bigger world – we had a better view
I wish she’d never told us about her voices
We were strong, we were much too strong

Never forgive – never forget

We picked and pierced, we ripped and we tore
We hit and we scratched to make in her a hole
Glares and eyes – whispers and notes
Attached to her every pose

We fed her shouts
For the collection of her voices
I was too weak to collect
But so, it turned out, was she
Both paid in soul for the cutting of that loss

Their ugly truth
Outnumbered by far her beautiful dream
And I closed my eyes
Were her eyes in yours already when we met?
Am I still paying debts to recover Life?

Now I can see she proved to be right
As she was called down
It’s sad though…
…that I turned out to be one of her voices.

I watched you die
Though you had always been there
Since I first came into this world
Outside people smile
I ask – why this deep blue sky?
When you have left this world today
Does it not know when to weep?

All my life I’ve looked up to you
A humble old man who always knew
No one can ever be closer to God than you
So who could fill this void

I still can’t believe that you are not around
That your warm voice won’t make another sound
Sure I understand, but I never will accept
That you should be gone

I watched you die
And I have feared this moment
Since I was just a child
So why that sunny sky?
When my beloved grandfather
Lies dead here cold and still?

Mother, at my first breath
Every paragraph was set
As I inhaled the scent of debt
Mother, that first stolen air
Taken as a legal sign
On papers saying I’m not mine

“We crown you, the King of Loss…
Better get on your feet
Best be one of us
Better get yourself on the list
For success
Dress up as a State investment
Charm the press
A breed from the seed of only
One short breath”

Mother, hence we cry:
Some of us are free to stand
Most of us are bound to lie
In those bloodstained beds
No one can afford to pay
The prices on their babies’ heads

I am the King of Loss!
For every dear smile I feel I’m not one of us
“An ivory coin for every plus on your stone”

“One more governmental blade
Now drawn from its sheath
Quite a bargain I’d say since either way
You will live by the show of our teeth!”

Mother, I wish that we could talk
You see
I’m not fit to play this game
Bound by its rules just the same
My talents turned to talons
Every monetary pile
Will buy me a precious smile…
smile…

So smile for the King of Loss
Feed from the juices
Bleeding from this cross
Then tell me our lives mean more
Than this vain thirst!

“A governmental blade
Drawn from its private sheath
Quite a bargain I’d say, since either way
You’ll be living by the show of our…”

I hold up my head
This was my life
Now I’m with the dead
So I lay my bare neck
This is your call
Dub a king or a wreck

(Mother, listen to me mother)

This was my life
This is your call

Is this all I am? Is this all I’ll be?
This is not enough!

We’re all crying for respect and attention
We’re all dying for a painless redemption!
This is not what I wanted
But for every drop of blood I lost myself
I, too, lay bleeding on the sidewalk…

Mother
Long live the dying king

“A governmental blade
Now drawn from its private sheath
Quite a bargain I’d say, since either way
I will live by the show of your teeth…”

I thought I’d seen hell
Thought I knew it all
Now I know too well
Hell is to wake up
But it makes all the difference

Tasting the tears in my mouth
Taking the weight on my shoulders
The hours and days of your life
Don’t necessarily make you older

I’m sick of running away
Along these bloody streets
I’m sick of predators and prey
Of being everybody’s end!

I’ve washed my hands of your blood
Thought it would leave me clean
But with time on my hands
It turned to mud forming this crust of sin

Now – to be truly free
I’ll let it come to me
So -break me if you must
When you break this crust
Freedom is to see

Hear this voice, see this man
Standing before you I’m just a child
Just a man learning to yield

I hate these hands soaked in blood
I hate what these eyes have seen
Up to my knees in filth and mud
How it hurts to become clean

I was always on my mind
But never on my side
Run – but if you run away
You’ll always have to hide
So if you need to run
Run for help!

This world is what we can give
Scarred from the way we lived
All those dreams we shared for you
How I wish they could come true

We dreamed of a world in peace
But killed for a life of ease
Now we leave the wounds for you
What else can the dying do?

…all those dreams we shared for you
God, I wish them to be true…

Once
I had a mountain of my own
With moss and walls and magic
And a mighty view
A forest of my own
Listening to me
Showing me its secret paths and trails
Green with depths and sleeping sunrises
Thorns that never cut
My feet and face
A pine of my own
Offering a seat in the sunset
Painting windy pictures
Arabesques
Of fortune and forever
Too large to fit
Even in a child’s pocket
Now
Arabesques of forgetfulness
Are left to burn holes
In my white tapestry and fungible wallpaper
Once
I had a world of my own
It is still there
Only
I am gone

Yesterday found him today
Caught him at his last breath
These walls built to stand come-what-may
Lie shattered in the ashes
His skin against this dirty floor
Eyes fixed on the ceiling
He has stretched those chains of sin
Far beyond all feelings
Still, so still…

In his head a thunderous
Cry of desperation
Tearing voices from his past
Scream for his attention
Behind those eyes a world explodes
No one there to save him
All pain that he’s been passing on
Answers to his craving
Once more

I will never leave this shame…

Falling far beyond the point of no return
Nothing to become and nothing left to burn

Stealing meaning from this child
We took away his reason
His soul put under lock and key
His heart blackened from treason
But if you take from those you fear
Everything they value
You have bred the perfect beast
Drained enough to kill you

Falling far beyond the point of no return
Nothing to become and nothing left to burn

Watching unseen untouched bleeding
Empty exposed dying eyes closed

Once he had forests and mountains
That were only his – listening to him
Once he would run through the summer days
Catching memories for ages to come
Now he is dressing this naked floor
With his flesh and blood, and times passes by
His trade of pain might just have lead him
To deal with consequence
For some change as time passes by

I am the waking child
(Lingering, climbing, clinging, clutching
Craving, clawing, hurting, falling down)
I, the wayward son of a mountain lake
(Of icy liquor tears, of a silent Earth)
(Of a rusty lid, of a wingless wind)
(Of an eyeless storm, of fallen gods,
who lost their way)
I set myself on fire
To breed the Perfect Element

Will I ever walk again?

Falling far beyond the point of no return
Nothing to become and nothing left to burn

(This is the end)

Nothing left to say,
The pain will go away
Now you must surely see,
That you are killing me
You are killing me
Now you are killing me
(You must never leave this shame!)
Now you are killing me
(You must never leave this shame!)
Now you are killing me
(You must never leave this shame!)

Is this more than you want?

Sit for a while, why rush?
The beauty is all around.
The red sky of the morning,
the different colours of the landscape,
the freshness of the breeze.
So sit for a while and rest
with the spirit of the land.
[-John Renshaw]

‘What is a war criminal? Was not war itself a crime against God and
humanity, and, therefore, were not all those who sanctioned, engineered,
and conducted wars, war criminals? War criminals are not confined to the
Axis Powers alone.’

I was told the pain and hunger was not my fault
How could they be so wrong?
And man, of all five billion people you’re only one
Believed them for far too long!
Clean hands
My land is my home

I’m inside the big machine and it’s eating me!
And I am just a wheel in motion, too blind to see
The way we are heading now

I’m hollow
I swallow, but….

Inside I’m strong
Inside I’m free
Inside I’m young
Inside I’m still me

[Since 1990 there have been 93 wars in 70 states all around the world, with 5.5 million people dead. 75% of these people were civilians, 1 million of them were children…]

(Guns don’t kill – I don’t kill. Do I?)

Drink with me, laugh with me, friends for tonight
Stay with me, sleep with me, happy tonight
I only feel lonely outside this bar
Look at me when I speak! Who do you think you are?

Just look at me now! Inside I’m lost…

Now I’m vain, numb this pain – why is it burning?
Clean as rain, not a stain – so why am I yearning?

I can’t sleep – I twist and turn
In too deep – I sweat, I burn
I’m afraid that I’ll awake, dressed up in a big mistake
Then I’d break!

What if I just closed my eyes?
(I’m not clean…)
What if I shut out the lies?
(…blood unseen…)
And what if I could hear my heart…
(…all over my hands!)
…accusing me for taking part
of the Machine

‘…and he actually held up the weapon before our eyes, and there, dressed
in a suit and tie, he smiled and told us with pride in his voice that “this
model was largely represented in the Gulf war!”.
He was so very proper and clean. And so alarmingly blind!’

Welcome inside the machine
It hurts!
Go numb, go blind…
One’s drilling out a pipe
One adjusts the aim
One makes trigger parts
Weapons as a game!

All trapped in killing routine
Washed clean…
…by this machine

On these grey walls
Lovely pictures of the weapons we produce
But not their actions…

All are part of the big Machine
We do our job
“Guilty!”

But what if we save?
And what if we solve?
And what if we build?
And what…

…what if we lose control?
What if we lose control?
What if we lose control?
What if we lose control?

(I am just a wheel!)

…and what if we …stop?

‘Only the tame birds have a longing. The wild ones fly.’

So once again
Another New Year’s Eve will ease our pain
Faith for the few
And rites that will make us so brave
So new
We laugh and we cheer for a Happy New Year
Happy?

Candles burn down
And in the darkness future comes around
We smile – all aware
But never speaking of the masks we wear
Blind!

Turning mirrors upside down
Won’t make dust fall off the ground
Hiding wounds won’t ease the pain
Sleep won’t make you whole again

Change the inside!
…drink the rain…

Dressing our words
Seeing the dirt and flaws inside us hurts
One final glass
A sour taste from our promises
I bid farewell and crawl out of my shell

I’m awake!
I see the mistakes I make
Hiding wounds won’t ease the pain
Sleep won’t make you whole again
Change the inside…

Today I found a seed of sorrow
The harvest leaves a soil of shame
Now I undress and face tomorrow
And brave I walk to meet the blame

I’ll search my home outside these borders
I’ll run to meet up with the past
A Resolution for the New Life
This time I know it’s gonna last

And I will…
Change the inside
Drink the rain
Open my wounds to heal the pain

Learn the work of The Machine…

[II: Spirit of Man]

‘In time of war the first casualty is truth.’ ‘What broke in a man when he
could bring himself to kill another?’

We’ve seen it before but safe on our suburb screens
Now I am here in the flesh
A witness of war in this godforsaken scene
Far from those grey walls
See children with guns hatred and fear in their eyes
They shoot to release their pain
A conflict to solve no matter if someone dies
Protecting our interests…
Look around, soon there’ll be but ruins to be found
Winner will be the last that stands
Lethal moves in a game of chess for the depraved
King or Pawn? Are you worth to save?
(What is the prize for this game we play?)
(And who are the ones that finally pay?)

If we eat more we’ll get a handful of nothing
We’ll be swallowing dirt
If we push more we’ll get a fistful of enough
We’ll be swallowing blood

They told me that we could actually save human lives
That armies would preserve the peace
And my work would save, solve and build bonds
Only lies!
And I fed their wallets…

It’s strange how we speak of civilised views
While we buy that media warface they sell
A makeup for “Them” so we can decide who’s to die
Cause we love it easy:

Here they are – take a good look at the beasts of war!
Let the rain wash that paint away:
Deep inside everyone’s a mothers little child
Longing home, lost and led astray
And we prey on this decay!

If we eat more we’ll get a handful of nothing
We’ll be left with the dirt
If we push more we’ll get a fistful of enough
I leave this machine…

I left my life to ease my pain
But I cannot find that cleansing rain…
Look around soon there’ll be but ruins to be found
We can change – it’s all in our minds…
[-D. Gildenlow]

Step by step hate controls every heart every soul
Every gun pointed at those we paint as Enemies
We provide what they need to let the game proceed
Stuck in machines somewhere we build the cross they bear
Arm to solve, kill to save… God I’ve felt how it smells!
“My land’s my home” – we’re blind!
I’m sick of the blood I find!
Step by step greed controls every heart every soul
Arm to kill, kill to live – God how could I believe…

Ground water moves very slowly. While water at surface can be measured in
meters per second, the ground water will more likely be measured in meters
per year! Contamination of the ground water causes severe damage for a very
long time.

Despite this, military and nuclear industry constantly pollutes large areas
of ground water – in times of peace.

I’ve always loved the sound of rain
Touching so softly my windowpane
And then the scent of dew at dawn
Coming to greet me from my moist lawn
…home…
[D. Gildenlow] I always took it for granted
I never valued the drops I shed
I failed to see the relation
Between my self and world starvation
[D. Gildenlow]

Water’s for the chosen
But how come we expect us to be those few…
…me and you?

[In this hot, desolate timeglass I met this man, wearing a worn old flyer’s cap. Every day he had to dig 10 feet down for his daily ration of water – one poor gallon. And so he did – singing while doing it!]

10 feet of sand for the thirst
But he gave me half of what he was given for a day
All for thirst and sanity use
While we use up hundred times more:
What do we do with it?
Pipes and bathtubs, sprinklers and fountains!
Freshwater used as a dump for oil and nuclear waste!
“Desert people turns humble” he said
They know what they have
But do they know what they lose when we flush?

[But yet, sadly, he looked up to me. Felt a need for our greed: our “freedom”. Said all he really wanted was a car and a radio. He too failed to see the relation …between our lives…and his starvation]

Water’s for the chosen
Water’s for the few
Life is for the chosen
But only if we believe it to be true…but we do!
(But I’m through!)

I’ve always loved the sound of rain…

‘The white man, he comes and goes. He can go. …But that’s our homeland for
thousands of years. That’s our home, and we will never leave. No matter how
contaminated it gets. We live there! We have always lived there and we will
always live there.’

This is our home – our roots go deep
Where our ancestors sleep
This is the land we’ve nursed for countless aeons
But never ours to keep
My tribe is crying – our land is dying
But we can’t leave – this is our home
We can’t let our past go…

We’re left with your legacy
Wide awake, deep at our roots
While you move on exploiting
We’ll sing lullabies for half a million years

When my son asks why, what will I reply?
But we can’t leave – this is our home
We can’t let our past go…

[Hallgren] [Hermansson] [D. Gildenlow]

But we can’t leave – this is our home!
If you like concrete alone
Then don’t make your high lives depend
On that past that you let go…

[III: Karachay]

‘They tell all the people of Europe, it’s a good, clean industry, it’s a
great way to save the world. But I’m here to tell you that now they’re
knocking on our door because they can’t find any place to store the damned
stuff for eternity, They come to our homeland and they want to lease some
land for 10,000 years!’

This was our home – we had our truth
Bled for our creed – why must we still bleed?
Your tailings are bound forever in this ground…
So you come for our holy ground
When your nature’s gone and your house has burnt down
No!

For hundreds of years you’ve hurt this land
Eating what’s there, leaving a wasteland
But there are no space to hold all your mistakes

Still you come for our holy ground
When your nature’s gone and your houses are all burnt down

[instrumental] [Hallgren]

‘To this day, they will not return our sacred land, even though their
highest hypocritical court said that we could and indeed did, own the
Black Hills. I still continue to struggle for the eventuality of regaining that sacred land.’

‘In fire, we can see our past and our coming. For, as with us and our time,
these flames are solely born through the complete and utterly consumption
of its surroundings. By which, the fire itself is also condemned to be
destroyed. Demanding, beautiful and very lethal, it lives itself to death…’

The higher I am reaching – the closer to the sun
The more I learn the less I know for sure
For each machine I’m leaving I find a bigger one
For each step I turn wiser than before
But it’s burning me…
Pilgrim, where are you going?
Pilgrim, your roads turning bleak
Pilgrim, true to your knowing
But what will you pay for the Grail that you seek?

Though these roads seem endless
And life seems out of reach
The roads I left were better off unwalked
If I had just been stronger
If I had dared to see
Maybe I would not have had to go this far
But still I won’t give in…

Pilgrim, where are you going?
Pilgrim, your roads turning bleak
Pilgrim, This quest is your calling
…the curtains are falling…
Pilgrim, where are you going?
And who sets the price on the answers you seek?

Karachay: This lake in Kyshtym has swallowed nuclear waste for almost fifty
years now. Radiation was earlier so high that one hour at the shore of this
lake would cause death in just a few weeks. Karachay, the entire lake, is
now covered with concrete…

Don’t disturb me now
I can see the why, the when and how
Looking back to see all bridges burn
I have reached the point of no return
this is zero
(Shore Serenity)
This is all that is left of me:
A broken man at a broken sea

To be or not to be a wheel in the big machinery
That is not the matter of the game
Just as long as you can sense the frame of the big picture
(Wheels make The Machine)

This is all that is left of me
a broken man at a concrete sea
But now I know that one cell can kill
and a big Machine stands and falls with… a wheel…

’30 years ago, society believed that no price was to high, we thought that
industry could come at any cost. We cannot afford to pay that price any
more.’

So finally my journey ends
And through this wound my soul can mend
Guilt is my blood
I’m being drained
This is my home, I will stay…
…inside!
There’s always someone inside
Fighting to get outside
The “knowing-right-from-wrong side”
Our home is inside!

I’ve travelled the world around
In search for some Grail of mine
How could I be so blind?
It was always here:inside
I have only some weeks to give
But at last… I live
[D. Gildenlow]

Life’s just a line of situations
A matter of occasions
And mystic correlations
The work of a Machine!
[D.Gildenlow/Hallgren] [Hallgren]

Here in a world split to nations
We fail to see the relations
Between the Wheel and the Machine
And of the scars we’re leaving…

…inside!
I swear there’s someone inside
Fighting to get outside
Just give it all an hour
By the Concrete Lake!
[D.Gildenlow/Hallgren]

‘I dread the day my children will ask me why. I dread the day when I will
have to explain to them that people thought it was acceptable to destroy
the environment so that we could have jobs. I dread the day I will have to
explain to my bright-eyed Joshua, who talks to dogs and listens to the
grass screaming, that we were all to busy driving fast cars, rushing our
children off to day-care, and finding seniors’ homes to our grandparents
and listening to the ringing of cash registers.

We were all too busy to hear the grass screaming.’

The Timeweaver’s abode is deep under ground
As interweaving history he us creates
He weaves in eternity not to be found
The Elder’s legend that braids our fates

Hoary and hollow-eyed, older than sun
Abiding his destiny to reverberate time
There’s no one to remember how it began
In rooms filled with candles he reverberates time

Timeweaver, tell me my history that I’ve been searching so
Timeweaver, reveal the mystery that I’ve been letting grow

He once was given his mission by three…
The Holy, The Sacred and The Ancient Dream
He doesn’t exist for those who don’t believe
He’s nothing but stories for those who don’t deem

Hoary and hollow-eyed, older than sun
Abiding his destiny to reverberate time
There’s no one to remember how it began
In rooms filled with candles he reverberates time

Timeweaver, tell me my history that I’ve been searching so
Timeweaver, reveal the mystery that I’ve been letting grow

Spider’s webs decorate dusty shelves lightened by old candles glow
Ancient prescriptions from times that don’t even exist
In memories

[D.Gildenlow/Both/D.Gildenlow/Hallgren]

Guarded by spells he reincarnates time
Gives birth once again to a century’s child

Hoary and hollow-eyed, older than sun
Abiding his destiny to reverberate time
And now I can remember how it began
In rooms filled with candles I reverberate time

Timeweaver told me a history I didn’t want to know
Timeweaver revealed the mystery – two became one to grow!

Timeweaver…
…time…will…be…here…now…and…

Now!

Through a dusty window I watch the clouds draw near
A lovely vision of my doom
The sunlight’s fading – reflections start to dim
Through the dusty window in this room

I’m walking through my memories as I’m staring through the glass
I have to claim I’m innocent
Though I can’t remember what I’ve done these past few nights
I can’t be the one that Father Kane believes I am

I see myself now, in the dusty glass
All wired up in this chair
My face is foreign and my weary eyes are black
I see myself through that stare

Eternal alleys that lead to walls hidden behind unlocked doors
I claim the handle, I need to see
Even though I’ll surely be afraid of what I may find…

…beyond the mirror!
(Inside the circle)

I walk through mazes of cold corridors
Searching for the core of my mind
My heartbeats reach out to find another pulse
That once was bound and confined

The two different heartbeats, becoming one
Are causing the coalescence of my soul
A quiet outcry – a silent scream – is filling me as I am driven back
From shadows that dwell…

…beyond the mirror!
(Inside the circle)

[Hallgren/D.Gildenlow/Both/Hallgren/D.Gildenlow/Both]

My world is frozen as I’m staring through the glass
Gazing through the window at my memories
Not longer foreign
Though I somehow wish…they were

The glowing fingers of a violent raging sky
In search for evil find a path
They rush through my veins, they invite my pulse to die
They end my life with frenzied wrath

Amidst the shadows of whisper land
I feel that something’s binding me to life
Confined in nowhere by no ones hand
I realize the pact is unfulfilled
I’m trapped on the edge…

…beyond the mirror!
(Inside the circle)