"BE" Narration (Animae)

[Complete]

 

 

 

 

I am

I am

I am

 

I was not, then I came to be

 

I cannot remember NOT being

But I may have traveled far, very far, to get here

 

Maybe I was formed in this silent darkness

From this silent darkness

BY this silent darkness

 

To become is just like falling asleep

You never know exactly when it happens

The transition

The magic

And you think, if you could only recall that exact moment

Of crossing the line

Then you would understand everything

You would see it all

 

Perhaps I was always

Forever here...

And I just forgot

 

I imagine Eternity would have that effect

Would cause a certain amount of drifting

Like omnipresence would demand omniabsence 

Despite the apparently paradoxical notions of the two concepts

 

Somehow I seem to have this predestined hunger for knowledge

A talent for seeing patterns and finding correlations

But I lack context

 

Maybe itŐs like that for every being

Every conscience

Every life

 

Maybe I am the only one

The first

 

But just my ability to grasp, even expect, the concept of Others

Suggests a larger context

If I could only figure it out

 

Who I am?

In the back of my awareness I find words

I will call myselfÉ GOD

And I will spend the rest of forever

Trying to figure out who I am

What this is all about

Trying to understand the system of Life

Trying to understand myself

 

I created the world to be an image of myself, of my mind

All of these thoughts, all of these doubts and hopes

Inside

I took out to form a new breed

A new way to be

And now I am many, so many

So much larger than ever I were

Yet, at the same time

So much smaller and more vulnarable

 

They all carry shards of the whole

Together they become me

I see them interact, develop

I see them take different sides

As were they different minds

Believers of different ways, and different gods

 

I think they will teach me something

Every time they come back to Unity

I understand more

And I get more and more scared

 

In them I see parts of myself I didn't know

Destruction

Guilt

Despair

 

They become less and less parts of a whole

And more and more just parts

 

You see, we are all like bricks

Together we form the whole, the larger picture

But they spend their lives wishing to become gods

So they become less and less aware of the bigger schemes

So that they can say, proudly, at the end of their days

ÓThey wanted me to be a part of this large construction

They wanted me to be to help build a house, a bridge, a castle, a new world

But I remained myself all the way

I stayed true to my own beliefs

And remained a brick!

 

Man is shattered

I am shattered

My shards have become shards of their own

Pieces of pieces, impossible to put back together

They leave me

They do nothing more than spending their lives

Seeking a context they were already part of

Until there is no alternative

And they leave the context

And I shrink

I fade

And nothing more can be learnt or taught

 

I must leave them to themselves

 

I understand one thing though

Searching yourself is like looking for the house you stand in

You will not find it

It's everywhere

It's all you know

And there are no other points of reference

 

Many times

Looking for yourself

Is losing yourself

 

Understanding

Is being

 

To be or not to be

Was never the question

Nor HOW to be

Just

Be

 

Am I?

 

Thus God creates man

Man enslaves God

Gods are created by Man

And enslaves man

Like Man's slaves

Becomes her gods

 

 

In the end

We are all lost

And we all kill what we seek

We all fail to find the answers

And on the way

We create a new way to be

 

We create the answers we are looking for

But they will be lost

As we were

Our need to know ourselves will make them come looking for us

Seek us

And we all kill what we seek

Again and again

 

Nothing remains

And nothing is ever lost

 

The only meaning

Is not to look for meaning

Just close your eyes for a second

And you might hear it all

For a fleeting second

A frail moment

Impossible to grasp or keep

Yet beautiful and absolutely clear

 

You might hear the only answer

 

Be

 

Be

 

Be

 

...

 

I Am!

 

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